This year I wish joy, peace and happiness to my family. To my friends. To those who have knowingly or unknowingly touched the lives of my family and I. But most of all, I wish them all the gift of life in every moment, of every day, they still have yet to live...
31 December 2010
29 December 2010
Friend: mon dani? is that you? art thou really there? don’t worry, i am getting on my noble steed (that may or may not be a plastic figurine) and am on my way!
Danielle: I am about to commit mass murder so you might want to hurry up with that. These children are demons. I’m gonna start throwing salt everywhere.
Friend: I’M STUCK IN STEED TRAFFIC! And you know how it is when you’re the only one with a noble steed and everyone is having a go at you…
Friend: THROW THE SALT. THROW IT.
Danielle: my hero! I await your arrival with baited breath!
Danielle: I’m going to keep the salt until I need to make my escape. I’m in the back of my classroom.
Friend: Oh if you’re at the back of the classroom then this would be a good time to deploy your zappy green lazer things! I implanted them in your brain for Christmas~
Friend: Be strong! You will survive! For tumblr and for Narnia!
27 December 2010
So I am driving down to Rhode Island to have a 'girls night in' party and end up in what basically resembles a giant parking lot... six lanes wide. Three lanes going in either direction. This really gave me too much time to think... So I called Kelly and asked, "Why is it that a 'PARKway' is something you DRIVE on and a DRIVEway is someplace you PARK at?"
Yep. I just KNOW she's rolling her eyes at me. Life is good.
26 December 2010
23 December 2010
"What is the most important lesson you've learned in life?"
"Learning to have good judgment."
"How did you learn to have GOOD judgment?"
"By using BAD judgment."
22 December 2010
Last year's links to this meme:
2. Tell me about one of your special traditions. We have some pretty special traditions. Most from my husband's family in which there seven kids and money was tight. So they made up for it in the most wonderful, ingenious way of throwing in a few gag gifts...
3. When do you put up your Tree? When the kids nagging enters the realm of audio torture...
4. Are you a Black Friday shopper? The only way you will ever catch me outside my house on black Friday is if I am dead and someone drags my cold, stiff corpse around.
5. Do you Travel at Christmas or Stay home? If we can't afford to take a trip to Scotland then it's not worth getting off the couch, now is it? Seriously, tho', we stay at home with the kids when my husband is home and if he is gone, then it is spent with family.
6. What is your funniest Christmas memory? The Christmas that my husband decided to get a level for my sister. (who is ADD and can't sit still. If she is not taking a sawzal to a door frame to replace a door she grew bored with then she's roofing or adding another addition) This was not just a small level... it was about 4 feet long or thereabouts. He carefully taped off the windows and painted the rest of it a brilliant pink. He told her when she opened it that he just wanted to remind her that she was a girl.
Although, I must admit, after DECADES of putting world peace on my list, I can no longer decorate a single line on my wish list with it any more because our daughter Nina gave me it for Christmas last year... It feels really weird as it was always first on my list.
7. What is your favorite Christmas Movie of All time? It's a Wonderful Life, hands down! Then maybe Scrooged.
8. Do you do your own Christmas Baking, what’s your favorite treat? Normally I bake Pumpkin Pie, Blueberry Pie, Mincemeat Pie, Strawberry-Rhubarb Pie, Apple Pie, Cherry Pie. (Not all at the same time though. I would probably be pushing maximum density if I ate all that!) This year, however, their WILL be store bought Pumpkin Cheesecake in my refrigerator or I WILL be taking up the life of a burgler. There truly are only two words you need to know for Christmas. See Thanksgiving, then lather, rinse, repeat. My shallowness concerning this should disturb me... and it does... AFTER consuming my fair share
9. Fake or Real Tree?
Three Fake Trees...
Three Fake Trees...
See How They Shine?
See How They Shine?
They range in size from one foot to six feet
The cats love climbing on such a tall treat
Yacking up the ribbon that they love to eat
Yes, Three Fake Trees
10. What day does the actual panic set in to get it all done? "...and did I panic? I think not!" (from the movie 'The Mummy') My mother-in-law taught me that I will NOT get everything done til the kids have all grown up and left home. So I don't worry about getting it all done.
Addendum: I MAY panic if I can't find at least MOST of my hiding places this year... have I mentioned I can't find them yet?
11. Are you still wrapping presents on Christmas Eve? Doesn't everyone? I think anyone that doesn't is an over-achiever!
Addendum: These kinds of people need to come to my house for dinner... have I mentioned how much trunk space we now have?
12. What is your favorite family fun time at Christmas? Laughing at all the gag gifts. No one is left out!
13. What Christmas craft do you like the best? Sewing the kids pajamas, although THIS year I have deviated slightly (rubbing hands together gleefully) but I can't say any more until AFTER Christmas morning.
14. Christmas music? Yes or No, and if yes What is your favorite song? My absolute favorite Christmas song is a pretty obscure song called "Take A Walk Thru Bethlehem."
15. When do you plan to finish all your shopping? It's done (see above)... Now I just have to find them all... in two and a half days.
Addendum: Have I mentioned I only have TWO and a HALF DAYS to FIND all the hiding places?
I MUST go treasure hunting... If I don't come up for air before Christmas morning, it's because I've run up the Pirate Flag and have told my family that this year, they get to go on a quest to find the most loot... That'll be my story and I'm sticking to it...
17 December 2010
Rachel, "Mom! You can't be seen with that... It's so... so... 'ghetto'!"
Me, "Ghetto? How would you know? You've never been in a ghetto?"
QOTD: "One man's wilderness is another man's theme park." ~ Unknown
16 December 2010
Husband, "What did the recipe say about preparing the garlic?"
Rachel, "It said to crush the cloves of garlic and add it to the pot."
Husband, "You might have crushed it's dreams or hurt it's feelings... possibly even spoke harshly to it before you added the garlic, but I don't think that was the intended method the recipe called for."
Rachel, "I thought you liked garlic."
Husband, "I do like garlic, but I normally like it dead first."
07 December 2010
Someone recently sent me a card that read...
On the outside: Hang in there...sometimes life hands you lemons, but then you can make lemonade.
On the inside: Of course, sometimes life pulls down your pants, runs a power sander across your naked butt, then pours lemon juice on your raw, abraded buttocks. In that case, a cool citrus drink wouldn't really help it, but darn it...you've got to hang in there anyway!
I thought it was cute, and that you'd appreciate it :)
Scribbled by Lemon Stand at 7:17 PM
06 December 2010
I am WAY late (the story of my life) and missed the opportunity to participate in another recipe exchange. Calista over at Each Day Is A Gift, invited me... and I missed the email until I was 'cleaning house' so to speak. I've been searching on CDs and old removable hard drives for the following. Success has finally been achieved! I loved Army Wife's post! It's made me want to just bake until the smell fills up the house and the mouth starts watering!
Back in December of 2006, Army Wife Toddler Mom had a special recipe exchange which I participated in. The Lemon Stand blog link will not work because in 2008 I had a series of surgeries and deleted my blog. I could not function much less write. There have also been some folks looking for it and I hope it will make up a little for my tardiness. NOTE: My husband is NOT deployed at the moment... this post was made back in 2006 without any changes. Enjoy...
Sunday, December 03, 2006Army Wife Toddler Mom, is having a recipe swap. I Thought I would give you the recipes that we recently used to send care packages to my husband and co-workers. (Plus a couple that are my absolute favorites!)
I Hope your house smells just as good as ours did once we were done.....
Banana Bread (We used this batter to also make miniature cupcakes that were a big hit with the kids...but alas, they could not be shipped to DH because they do not keep for long!)
1 3/4 cups Flour
1 1/4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
2/3 cup sugar
1/3 cup shortening
2 tbs milk
1 cup mashed banana
(Secret....Add an extra banana in addition to the 1 cup of mashed banana...it makes the bread come out extra moist!)
Bake 350 degrees
Mix all wet ingredients till smooth, add dry ingredients and mix till no lumps.
Lightly grease loaf pan and bake about 60 minutes. Makes one loaf.
If using miniature cupcake pan, bake til lightly brown on top.
(Eat within a few days or freeze)
Oatmeal Raisin Cookies
1 cup flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 cup butter (softened)
1/3 cup packed DARK BROWN SUGAR
1/2 cup sugar
2 tbs milk
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 cup quick rolled oats
1/2 cup raisins
Bake 375 degrees
Mix all sugar, eggs, vanilla, milk and butter till smooth. Add flour, baking powder and baking soda. Mix till no lumps. Fold in oats and raisins. Mix well.
Chill Dough 2 hours.
Form 1" balls
Bake abt 10 minutes. Until center doesn't stay depressed when lightly pressed. Lightly brown around the edges if you like a drier cookie.
If shipping these cookies to deployed troops, reduce cook time by 1 minute and they will stay moist during shipment. Wrap well.
Chocolate Chip Cookies
2 1/4 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 cup butter (softened)
1/2 cup sugar
1 cup packed DARK BROWN SUGAR
1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups (12-ounce package) Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips
1 cup chopped nuts
Bake 375 degree
Beat all sugar, butter, vanilla and eggs till smooth. Mix dry ingredients in separate bowl (except Chips and nuts). Slowly mix dry ingredients into the wet ingredients till smooth. Fold in chips and nuts.
Drop rounded tbs onto ungreased cookie sheet.
Bake about 9 to 11 minutes until lightly golden brown. Decrease cooking time by 1 minute if shipping these cookies to deployed troops and they will stay moist during shipment. Wrap well.
Molasses Drop Cookies
2 1/4 cup flour
1 tsp ginger
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp salt
2 tsp baking soda
2 tsp HOT water
1/4 cup butter (softened)
1/2 cup packed DARK BROWN SUGAR
1/2 cup dark molasses
6 tbs COLD water
Optional 1/2 cup raisins, almonds or walnuts
Bake 400 degrees
My grandmother swore that the secret to getting these cookies cake moist was to SLOWLY heat the molasses in a double boiler. She would then use the pan as mixing bowl.
In a cup mix soda and HOT water. Set aside.
Blend butter, sugar and egg together until smooth. Add to molasses and mix until VERY light.
Add baking soda mixture and remaining dry ingredients. (except for raisins, almonds or walnuts) Mix until smooth.
Fold in raisins, almonds or walnuts, if desired.
Chill for 2 hours.
Spoon drop 2" apart on lightly greased cookie sheet and bake about 10 minutes or until center lightly springs back if pressed.
Peanut Butter Cookies
1 1/4 cups flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup butter (softened)
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup peanut butter
Bake 350 degrees
Beat all sugars, butter and peanut butter.
Add remaining ingredients.
Mix until smooth.
Make 1" balls and place on lightly greased cookie sheets. Press fork onto top to make lines. (Secret: Dip fork in sugar before pressing onto the cookie EACH TIME)
Bake about 10-12 minutes. (A minute or two less for moister cookies...especially if sending to troops)
Make 2 dozen
Ginger Bread People Cookies
3 cups flour
3/4 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp ground cloves
1/4 tsp ground nutmeg
2 tsp ground ginger
2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp cream of tarter
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 cup butter (softened)
1/2 cup packed DARK BROWN SUGAR
2/3 cup dark molasses
Bake 350 degrees
Mix flour baking soda, clove, ginger, nutmeg, cinnamon and salt, set aside.
Mix sugar, butter and cream of tarter til fluffy. Add eggs and molasses.
Slowly add the flour mixture. Mix well
Divide in half and wrap in plastic.
Chill 2 hours.
On lightly floured surface, use a rolling pin lightly dusted with flour to roll dough 1/8 inch thick.
Use a cookie cutter and place on ungreased cookie sheet. (dip cutter into flour between each cutting)
If desired, press chocolate chips, candy or raisins into cookies for the 'buttons'
Bake 8-10 minutes.
Cool and decorate. Wrap well.
Rice Krispies Treats (This one is right off the box)
1/4 cup butter
1 (10 oz., about 40) pkg. regular marshmallows or 3 cups miniature marshmallows
6 cups Kellogg's Rice Krispies cereal
In a large saucepan, melt butter over low heat. Add the marshmallows and continue to stir until the marshmallows have completely melted. Remove from heat.
Stir in the Kellogg's Rice Krispies cereal coating them well with the melted marshmallow mixture.
Using a buttered or silicone spatula, press the mixture evenly into a 13 x 9 x 2 inch pan which has been buttered or sprayed with non-stick spray or lined with wax paper.
Cut into squares when the mixture cools.
Makes 24 squares.
Microwave butter with marshmallows on high setting for 2 minutes in a microwave safe mixing bowl. Stir together when melted. Microwave again on high for 1 additional minute. Stir in cereal, mixing until well coated. Press into pan as above.
05 December 2010
I want to know why there are times, like now, when it takes me an hour to type an average email to a friend and days to think up things with which to decorate my blog's white post screen of death? There are times, like now, when it seems I've emptied my brain and all that remains is a vacuum. A black hole within the midst of the universe of my mind. (Don't bother trying to figure out the meaning of that... it's futile, since I write these posts to myself for therapy and even I'm inching toward the nearest emergency exit door, just click on the closest box with an [X] and save yourself now...) Now granted, there are times my mind produces thoughts that are so far out there, they're coming back, but at least then I can be assured that there is still life in my grey matter. Neurons are still firing and I'm not dead, but just not aware of it. Sitting in front of a blank, white screen for a really long time, and not being able to type a single letter, much less a word, feels like lemon juice being poured over a paper-cut.
So since I am in such desperate straits, I'm going to decorate my white post screen of death with the only email I wrote today... Actually, it's the only email I've written since last Thursday. (My send folder is perpetually lonely...) I haven't had time to have a consistent and reliable relationship with my computer.
I've been very busy lately dismantling my upstairs bathroom sink, faucet, plumbing and seriously eyeing the shower stall and bathroom floor. Today I dismantled my dryer door and tried for almost three hours, on the floor, in front of the dryer, trying to reassemble it again. My husband came home and put it back together in ten minutes. I think I rather dislike him at the moment. I think I may even have to take him up on his lovely offer to test the capacity of my car trunk space... Although, come to think of it, he's right about the truck being easier to slide the dead body out of. I hate it when he's right. I hate it when he comes home and does in TEN minutes what I tried to do for THREE HOURS! I should have known how the day was going to go when I asked myself this morning, 'Why IS IT when I look for a phillips head screwdriver, the only tool I can find... is a hammer?' Desperation for blog fodder has left me willing to show how bad a friend I really am so I'm just going to post this proof of dweebness quickly, then exit... stage left. Today has sucked. Just so you know? If I were to have a choice right now, between a slice of Pumpkin Cheesecake and keeping my promise to myself about a post a day... Well? The only place I'd be decorating would be my very happy tummy. Since you see before you a lovely, decorative blog post, my day has at least been consistent. You can be assured that there is absolutely no slice of Pumpkin Cheesecake within my dominion... hence the hasty post so I can go commune with my pillow and dream of being plump and happy with an unlimited supply of Pumpkin Cheesecake... Believe me. It's been one of those days...
Important Communiqué From Moi...
Kelly and Elizabeth,
As you can see, I am not very prompt about answering email (or anything else for that matter) Seriously, it's my greatest failure in life so I sincerely apologize. As to WHY the two of you are receiving the same email? Umm... I'm developing my multitasking skills. Impressive, huh?
I'm lazy and tired[ok, both of you please forgive me for rushing around trying to do about six things at once. It's keeping my mind occupied and looking for that silver lining when I really want to wallow in self-pity. So work with me here, ok? Please?] I probably should go get my Thesaurus and look up the word whiner just to make sure my picture is still there...
Elizabeth, you've been reading my blog? First, thank you for your kind words. (I have to drag my manners out and dust them off every once in a while just so I know my Mother would be proud of me. She DID teach me manners, I just wasn't a very apt pupil) Anyway. My honest reaction when anyone tells me they've read my blog (other than Kelly because, let's face it… she's put up with me for this long...) is: Ack! It actually sounds quite disgusting when I say this, but it's true, 'my blog is where my mind vomits'. I never realized until I started blogging, just how much I enjoy writing. I didn't think it would work very well as therapy, but I was wrong. At least for me, it has helped. Oh, and I am SOOOOOOOO not going to write a book! Ack, again! That would feel something like having a really nasty virus with me excreting vast amounts of bodily fluids for days on end! So let's just not go there, ok? Besides, I can't imagine what subject any book I wrote could be… except, maybe... "How To Throw Your Own Fabulous Pity Party Complete With Party Hats, Balloons, Noise Makers And A Visit From The Police… Or Possibly The Men With Those Cute White Coats Who Are So Gentlemanly, They Actually Hold Your Coat To Help You To Put It On?" Just the title length would put you to sleep. Can't imagine a story plot either, although I have always loved the line, "Ahhhhh, the plot thickens..." . Not sure exactly what that means but it just SOUNDS dramatic… So Sherlockesque… (Not to be confused with Burlesque. That's Not dramatic… that's just sex and although I know that sex sells… I can't see myself writing dramatic, steamy, sex scenes without laughing my butt off, because I can see myself picturing them posing as Gumby and Pokey… and I know that's just wrong...)
It's been insane around here this past week, but it matches my need to do anything but think about my doctor's visit. I think ripping out the upstairs bathroom this week will be a major stress reliever. Hammer+crowbar+me=a beautiful new bathroom (Kelly, you can stop laughing now… it CAN happen. It may not look like something Martha Stewart (or Norm Abrahms, for that matter) would appreciate or be proud of… but when you come to visit… you can just leave the lights off when you use it... oh wait... it has no window. Not to worry, I can provide you with a glow stick...) Besides, I've already learned about disassembling sinks. Now, I know how to take apart my Dryer door using ONLY a Phillips head screwdriver! (The hammer was darn tempting tho'… I have to admit it took a lot for me to hold myself back on that one… Actually, I'm quite proud of my restraint…) My projects are just growing in scope and size… At this rate, I'll be building a new house by next month…
Well, I think that's about as much
torturecommunication as either of you can handle from me in one day. So I will take pity on you and close before you are required to start immediate intense therapy to recover from it.
Hope you guys have a GREAT week!
IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem or no sense of humor. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this e-mail is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, although the Chihuahua next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you! Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites, whisk and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes.
03 December 2010
How To Teach Your Kids That You Will Have The Last Word... And Assure Them They Will Love You For It...
What does this have to do with teaching your kids that you will have the last word and they will love you for it? I'm getting there... I'm merely trying to describe the progression of thoughts that pass through my mind to arrive at said post title. Come to think of it, my method bares an eerie resemblance to the children's book, "If You Give A Moose A Muffin". (Which, by the way, was actually my favorite out of this series. I knew you were dying to ask that question...)
[Warning: The following has absolutely nothing to do with the post at hand. It is merely a stray thought... I repeat, it is merely a stray thought... Please stay
awakecalm until the certifiable idiotwriter has completed this thought process, and should you not be able to remain conscious, you will be awoken when it is finally overyou will be returned to the current post at hand... We appreciate your patience while we attempt to dress said 'writer' in an 'I love me jacket'with this technical difficulty... "Why is it, that when your brain thinks/problem solves in this wandering kind of manner when you are a teenager, it's considered 'thinking outside the box', but if you think/problem solve in this wandering kind of way when you are forty-five, you are considered delusional and your doctor is likely to recommend that your family reserve you a bed in a the furthest geographicalPsychiatric Ward?" If this had been a real longthought, you would have been abandoned at the first opportunity, like a rat on a sinking ship, leaving you to the visual torture often accompanied by the stray thoughts of this particular writerinstructed to click the box with the little 'x' in it for immediate reliefclose this web page. We thank you for your patience. We now return you to your normalcurrent post.
**Alarm Clock buzzing loudly**]
Thoughts now getting lost...
QOTD: "Don't count every hour in the day, make every hour in the day count." ~ unknown