I'm Not the Only One Making Lemonade

I love lemons that make me laugh and as I was on twitter (@lemon_stand) tonight, I ran across two awesome lemon quotes:

   "When life gives you lemons, simply let them wash over you in a gentle, lemon-scented, yellow wave. Revel in your new wealth of lemons." ~ @jeffzentner

   "Horde your lemons in underground bunker. Watch the price of lemons skyrocket. Sell lemons at high prices and cackle." ~ @justinaireland

But one of my favorites came from a friend of mine long ago:

   Someone recently sent me a card that read...

            On the outside: Hang in there...sometimes life hands you lemons, but then you can make lemonade.
            On the inside: Of course, sometimes life pulls down your pants, runs a power sander across your naked butt, then pours lemon juice on your raw, abraded buttocks. In that case, a cool citrus drink wouldn't really help it, but darn it...you've got to hang in there anyway!

Sarah

QOTD: "The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser in case you thought optimism was dead." ~ Robert Brault

I Didn't Win the Lottery

   The Powerball lottery was up to about 1.5 Billion US Dollars. I didn't win. This was not a surprise as I knew I'd have a much better chance of getting my kids to pick up after themselves, teach my cat to sing or decide I needed a tattoo on my posterior. I am also glad I am in good company as no one I know won it either. We can now all go out and commiserate together. It'll be fun.

QOTD: "Here's somthing to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?" ~ Jay Leno

I Smell Something Burning

 

QOTD: "It so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it." ~ Sam Levenson

Gratefulness

   Tonight I'm grateful for my children as they have always brought me way more joy than pain. I'm grateful for my husband who taught me and our children how to laugh, when to laugh and how to look at things from outside the box. I'm grateful for my friends and family for the blessing they have always been to me.

    And although I was able to make good headway on cleaning and organizing my sewing room today, I am grateful for the fluffy pillow calling to me. Tomorrow is another day and I'll be grateful to start finishing the many quilting projects I have run across that still need to be completed.

QOTD: "I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose." ~ Woody Allen - American actor, director, comedian and author

Mr Alarm Clock's Obituary

Mr Alarm Clock

I am contemplating the premeditated murder of our old alarm clock. The same alarm clock my husband has already resurrected once before.

At least I have the obituary written already. Only have to update it a little bit. It's Monday. Nuff said.

Mr. Alarm Clock (1998-2006) New England - Alarm Clock of the Lemon Stand household died Thursday morning, October 26, 2006 after a sudden traumatic incident involving the accidental awakening of the mistress of Lemon Stand. Mr. Clock died of massive internal injuries. He was 8 years old.

Mr. Clock was adopted in 1998 and was a permanent member of the bedside nightstand of the owners of the Lemon Stand Household, where he served admirably for many years in the master bedroom. His service included performing the duties of time keeper and wake up calls no matter what shift the owners worked.

Later in life, he remained a faithful companion of the Master of the Lemon Stand household and was so distraught upon the recent deployment to Iraq of said Master that he became inconsolable. He would alarm the household at inappropriate times and on occasion would break out into song without prompting.

In the early morning hours of Thursday, before the sun had come up, Mr. Clock startled the mistress who promptly defended her sanity by propelling Mr. Alarm Clock into a wall at a high rate of speed. Mr. Clock died on impact caused by the sudden stop. No charges have been filed as it was an act of self defense.

Mr. Clock will be buried with full military honors at the town transfer station (garbage dump) on Saturday. In lieu of flowers, Memorial Contributions may be made to Soldiers Angels. Mr. Clock would have been pleased to know that his demise was able to touch another service member.

(Originally posted 26 Oct 2006)

QOTD: "My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed." ~ unknown