Mr Alarm Clock's Obituary

Mr Alarm Clock

I am contemplating the premeditated murder of our old alarm clock. The same alarm clock my husband has already resurrected once before.

At least I have the obituary written already. Only have to update it a little bit. It's Monday. Nuff said.

Mr. Alarm Clock (1998-2006) New England - Alarm Clock of the Lemon Stand household died Thursday morning, October 26, 2006 after a sudden traumatic incident involving the accidental awakening of the mistress of Lemon Stand. Mr. Clock died of massive internal injuries. He was 8 years old.

Mr. Clock was adopted in 1998 and was a permanent member of the bedside nightstand of the owners of the Lemon Stand Household, where he served admirably for many years in the master bedroom. His service included performing the duties of time keeper and wake up calls no matter what shift the owners worked.

Later in life, he remained a faithful companion of the Master of the Lemon Stand household and was so distraught upon the recent deployment to Iraq of said Master that he became inconsolable. He would alarm the household at inappropriate times and on occasion would break out into song without prompting.

In the early morning hours of Thursday, before the sun had come up, Mr. Clock startled the mistress who promptly defended her sanity by propelling Mr. Alarm Clock into a wall at a high rate of speed. Mr. Clock died on impact caused by the sudden stop. No charges have been filed as it was an act of self defense.

Mr. Clock will be buried with full military honors at the town transfer station (garbage dump) on Saturday. In lieu of flowers, Memorial Contributions may be made to Soldiers Angels. Mr. Clock would have been pleased to know that his demise was able to touch another service member.

(Originally posted 26 Oct 2006)

QOTD: "My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed." ~ unknown