31 March 2010

Why, Hello Mr. Murphy, My Old Friend...

It hasn't been that long since you last came to visit.  Please forgive me for not inviting you in for a cup of tea.  I am rather busy bailing water at an extremely rapid pace.  No, the flood has not gotten into the kitchen... yet.  Thank you for your concern.  Why, yes.  I did notice that my driveway is under water.  No.  We don't happen to have a boat.  You suggest that we might want to get one?  Huh.  I will definitely put it on my to-do list since you always seem to be in the thick of these kind of things and seem to always know what's what...

Could you use our bathroom?  I'm so sorry.  At the moment, the toilet can't be flushed and I really wouldn't send my worst enemy into that gas chamber.  Why, yes.  My husband does happen to own a gas mask.  Unfortunately he is out of state at the moment and he took his gas mask with him.  Why did he need it?  Um.  well, he said something about his hotel accommodations in Atlanta being in an urban combat zone and he thought it better to be prepared.  So you see, I believe your best bet is to search for restroom facilities... in the next state over.  I'm sure that if you leave now, it won't take you any time at all to get there.

Well, yes.  I suppose you could answer the call of nature outside in the woods although I wouldn't suggest it.  We have large packs of viscous wolves roaming around in these woods.  I would truly be heartbroken if they ate you for breakfast. You truly would be better off in the next state over... or perhaps even 5 states over.  It would be safer that way.

Could you have a glass of water?  I am so sorry, Mr. Murphy.  It seems that our well pump has died and we will have to wait for payday to fix it.  Bottled water?  The kids just used the last one we had... to put out the fire.  What fire?  Oh dear.  Didn't I mention that the kitchen has smoke damage?  It's another reason why I can't entertain you at the moment.. I am expecting the Fire Marshall any time now.  Somehow a kitchen towel got too close to one of the gas burners on our stove but luckily the kids acted very swiftly to save the house.  I'm so very proud of them.

Do I have a what?  Oh, a snack.  I thought you said ax.  Please accept my profound apologies but the rats have gotten into the pantry and just last night I noticed we do not have even a scrap of food left.  Truly, I am embarrassed to admit this all to you.  I wish we could have a lovely visit.  Truly, I do.  But as you can see, right now is not a good time for us.  If you had only called ahead I could have saved you a trip.

An invitation?  I know I have not invited you since you laid down the law.  No, I do not mean to be inhospitable or rude but surely you can see the situation we are in at the moment.  Invitations for a visitation is the last thing on my mind at the moment.

No.  Why should I be upset that you only made the law so that there would be balance in the universe.  Believe me.  At the moment I feel very connected to the universe.  Ok.  maybe I am a little upset.  I mean, really.  Couldn't you make it apply to us a little less often?  I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to offend you.  No, please.  Don't leave angry.  

What was that?  I haven't experienced all the plagues yet?  Or every natural disaster know to man?  Now wait a minute.  I have weathered typhoons, blizzards, hurricanes, floods, earthquakes and even a volcanic eruption!  I think just about every column has been checked for that life experience chart!

Hey!  Where are you going?  To make up more laws that apply to us?  Nooooooooo!!!!!!

Some days it doesn't pay to get out of bed...
QOTD:  "The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at." ~ unknown

25 March 2010

Parenting Takes Patience And Imagination...

At the dinner table last night, it occurred to me that my husband and I think along the same lines in terms of parenting but our methods seem to be a bit different.  Case in point:
Husband, "Rachel, if the only way I can motivate you is the application of electricity, then I guess it sucks to be you."

Me, "I've always found that the application of ice water can work wonders when it comes to motivating any of the kids."
It's good to know that even after all these years, we still agree on the basics....
QOTD: "Enthusiasm is excitement with inspiration, motivation and a pinch of creativity." ~ Bo Bennett

23 March 2010

Playing Hide And Seek...

Why is it that it always seems some important tax document gets misfiled or otherwise goes AWOL just when you are trying to figure out the taxes?  There is a reason why spring cleaning always gets done while tax season is going on. (That is probably also the reason Easter Egg hunts were invented... parents were searching for their tax papers and the kids wanted to join in on the fun)  I have torn my house apart searching in vain for said document.  It is definitely MIA.  So I get to call the IRS tomorrow and find out how I can get a replacement for the beast since search and rescue operations seem to have failed abysmally... 
QOTD: “I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is – I could be just as proud for half the money.” — Arthur Godfrey, entertainer

22 March 2010

The Most Difficult Lemon Of The Year...

It's Monday and it's Tax Season and until I get all the itemizing done... I have no life.  GAH!  It really makes me want to be a kid again!  I'd rather have someone pour lemon juice on a paper cut then do taxes.  Heeeeelllllpppp!  Save meeeeeee......
QOTD:  “What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.” ~ Douglas Adams (1952-2001) British comic writer

18 March 2010

'You Made A Difference' Award...

Warning:  Serious Post

Yes.  I know.  I rarely do these.  For some reason though, this post came to mind and wouldn't leave me alone until I had gotten it all down...

The Lemon Stand has quite a history.  I originally started blogging way back in 2005.  Due to emergency surgery and recovery, I deleted my blog back at the beginning of 2008 because I was not able to keep up with it and I knew I had a long road to tread.  Last winter I decided to reinvent this blog because I still needed it and there were a lot of wonderful blogger friends who encouraged me to start again.  What I had to say and how I said it was actually missed even a year and a half later by friends and family.  It feels good to be back and to know I can give back to those people who have inspired me.

I had forgotten how having to think about what goes on every day and picking out the positive, happy, humorous or deeply serious events that occur within the realm of my life makes me focus on my blessings.  Not just at home but in everything that touches my life.  Believe me, this takes work.  A lot of it.  Gigantic mountains of it some days.  You know.  Like Himalayan big.  Positive thinking is not a natural state for me.

I cringe when I look back at the idiot I was in my teens and twenties.  I'm not very proud of that time in my life.  I woke up one day and realized that I didn't want to be that person anymore.  I think that being in my 40's and having the experience of hindsight has made me appreciate life more.  To really take the time every once in a while to look around and take stock.

Today it seems like there is nothing but bad news out there.  That makes it hard to look at each new challenge as an opportunity even though I know that it is.  Everyone out there today has felt the impact of either losing their job or having a family or friend who has.  Worse than that.  There are families trying to hold it all together without a spouse or parent because they are in the military.  Some of those family members come home a whole lot different then they left.  Some don't make it home at all.  It is very hard sometimes to keep in mind that there is always some one out there with more on their plate than you do.  Sometimes it's hard to look around and appreciate what you have.  Until it's gone.  Sigh.  There are some truly gargantuan lemons out there.

But back to my original thought.  (Yeah. I know.  I'm wandering, but all who wander are not lost.)

This blog has been my lemonade for a long time now.  I definitely don't have the following I used to have but that's ok.  People find me every day and share parts of their own lives.  I have learned so much from them and I hope that there is a time when I can or have returned the favor.

I know I've said this before but nobody in life gets to where they are going without help and most people don't realize the impact they have on other people's lives.  What seems to you a small, minor thing can be what someone else most needed at that time in their life.  I just want to touch on a few of them that have written something that made me stop and change the way I looked at something.

I wish I had a "You've Made A Difference" Award I could give out (so that others could pass it on) but I am not that savvy with artistic graphics.  Instead I will just say that if you ever need a pick me up, words of wisdom, food for thought or just a plain good laugh, go to any of their sites.  They are good peeps and though I may not agree with everything they write, their posts are always worth reading. They are by no means all of those whom have touched my life in some way, just ones who have done so lately and I'd just like to take the time to say "Thank you."
ABW of Army Blogger Wife
AFW over at SpouseBuzz
Bou of Boudicca's Voice
Cristin of Life of a Redleg Wife
Eric of Straight White Guy
Just Another Snarky Navy Wife
LAW of Proud Liberal Army Wife
Leeann of Look!  A Baby Wolf!
Meleah of Mama Mia, Mia Culpa
Mrs Who at House of Zathras
Roses of Ack! Thbbbt!
Sarah of Trying to Grok
VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks

16 March 2010

Unusual Selling Points...

Our family van is too sick to save.  We have decided to put it out of it's misery (and ours).  We have been shopping for a few days and have finally settled on a car.  I really needed something with lower lumbar support in the seat.  That and good gas mileage are the only two things that were non-negotiable in my mind.  Amazingly enough we easily found what we were looking for and filled out the paperwork.  While the dealership did all the final things they do to get the car ready, my husband and I went to get some lunch.
My husband, "That car really has an amazing amount of trunk space.  I bet you could fit two dead bodies back there."
Cautiously (figuring I'd go with the flow) I said, "I guess that might be a good selling point if I were in the market for that kind of feature but I think the smell would get to me, not to mention the problems inherent with getting them out once the rigor mortis sets in."

My husband thought about that for a minute and then said,  "You could be right but since one of those dead bodies is likely to be me I give you permission to use my truck instead.  That way you can just slide the corpse out and it'll make it easier to dispose of the body."
*blink blink*
Me, "Wow!  What a thoughtful and generous thing to offer.  Thank you.  If I ever decide to take up the life of a homicidal maniac, I will be sure to take you up on that lovely offer."

My husband said cheerfully, "Your welcome.  Any time."
A few hours later when picking up Danielle downtown.
Danielle, "Cool car Mom!"

Me, "Thanks.  You can put your bag in the trunk.  It's large enough."

Danielle, "Wow!  It's big enough for three dead bodies!"
Okaaaay.  "Umm.  Your father said something to that effect."
A little while later, when picking up Rachel.
Rachel, "Wow Mom.  Your car is shiny!" (I don't think she meant reflective)

Me, "Thanks.  You can throw your bag in the trunk."

While throwing her bag in the trunk, "Hey!  You could fit two dead bodies back here!"
*blink*  I think they all may have zombies on the brain lately...
Danielle, "I said three."

Rachel says casually, "Two and a half.  I can compromise."

Again I thought of the one thing my family apparently doesn't consider a problem, "I don't want to think about the smell."  Then I thought, 'What am I thinking? I'm letting them drag me into the shallow end of the gene pool they obviously wallow in on occasion!'  It's like my husband said... Not much wave action in that pool.

After a minute Danielle said, "Well, if you cut one in half you could fit all three."

Rachel swiftly came back with, "Only if you chop them up.  Mom is right though.  You'd have to put them in plastic bags."
I changed the subject and then quiet finally reigned in the car as I started to make our way home.
I was thinking about how nice the ride was.  How quiet.  The other options the car had and without really thinking it through, mistakenly said, "I read the owner's manual and it says it has an emergency unlock feature in the trunk of the car in case you get stuck in there."

Rachel, "Then we'll just have to duck tape anyone we want to put back there."
Sigh.  My family just doesn't place the same amount of importance on car features as I do... or for the same reasons...
QOTD:  "Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience."  Bill Watterson, Cartoonist

15 March 2010

Old Home Week...

I am always amazed at the way Facebook gets people in touch with you that you haven't seen in years.  Decades even.  My best friend Kelly swears by it but I have been pretty skeptical and cautious about it.  Still, this weekend it happened to me.  It must be old home week and I missed the memo because I have now touched base with 4 old friends in one weekend.  It was pretty cool.  I have been expanding the pool of people I can laugh with again.  Although I should probably warn them about being blog fodder....  Nah.  What fun would that be?  Although one must be cautious because I'm sure they all have blackmail pictures and stories of me.  Yes, I must weigh my options carefully and judiciously.   

As with anytime you haven't seen someone in ages, they want to see pictures.  Well, I don't often have my picture taken.  This was about 5 years ago.  But the really shameful thing is... I don't have loaded on my computer the most recent pictures of all my kids.  Still I can't help but be proud of them... (Yes kids... but don't let it go to your head)  :o)  You can look below the fold and see the source of my blog fodder most days of the week...

12 March 2010

Hot Apple Cider And Tall, Yellow Galoshes In New England...

Today is a typical spring day in New England with grey blanketing clouds heavy with the promise of big, fat raindrops.  A perfect day to go to my favorite hole in the wall teashop and wait for the library to open with a steaming cup of freshly pressed apple cider and jazz music playing softly in the background.  My poor tired van is still limping along so it hasn't given up the ghost yet.  I'm thinking I may be able to make it down to the store this afternoon to pick up some tall, yellow galoshes for what is about to become our own private mud hole.  Normally we would call this our driveway but since it is a dirt driveway with poor drainage, it becomes a mud hole fit for prize, gigantic pigs to wallow in.  (And a few kids)  Actually, all we need is a large herd of those pigs to make the picture complete.  I wonder if pigs come in 'herds'?
QOTD: "I've developed a new philosophy... only dread one day at a time." ~ Charlie Brown

11 March 2010

When The Family Car Gets Sick...

With all the problems the economy is having I had a long talk with my car recently.  I begged it to take better care of itself.  The coughing has been getting steadily worse.  I have mothered and pampered it with all sorts of fluids like Mother's always do, but it still keeps getting sicker.  It's temperature is normal but I'm still worried about it dying because it sounds AWFUL.  I don't think any of my home remedies are going to work this time.  In my mind I know that it has lived past it's prime but it has been at the heart of our family gatherings on a daily basis for so many years.  It has been a hard worker in the worst of times but alas, I think it might be coming up on the time when we will have to make a decision whether to euthanize it or not.  Such worrying concerns are weighing me down this cloudy Thursday morning...
QOTD: "John Le Mesurier wishes it to be known that he conked out on November 15th. He sadly misses family and friends." ~ John Le Mesurier  (1912-83), British actor. His death announcement.

09 March 2010

Registered To Win A Fabulous, Brand New F-117A In The Desert Thunder Sweepstakes...

OK.  I am blatantly stealing the following post that has appeared on various websites but it is Tuesday and I desperately needed a laugh after sitting down with the tuition bills for three, count them THREE college student daughters, for the fall semester.  Which is enough to make any parent cringe in fear and worry.  Not to mention going bald from pulling your hair out while wearing out three calculators from abusive displays of anxiety.  

And by the way, the 'important notice' at the bottom of this post I saw on someone else's website as a possible signature block.  I tried to remember where I saw it and when that failed (see above description of my mental acuity at the current time in my life) I googled it.  Whereupon I saw that it has been blatantly stolen from so many places that I don't feel quite so bad about my memory.  Still, if the blogger will kindly remind me I will be happy to place a link to their wonderful site because it truly is the best signature I have EVER seen.  (and I absconded with it immediately to put on my own email messages so that all my friends and family could reevaluate their opinions of my good humor or lack thereof... (you know who you are)  So now for the chuckle of the day...

This was allegedly posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas Website by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company of course does not have a sense of humor and made the IT department take it down immediately (for once, the 'IMPORTANT' note at the end is worth a read too) ...

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs & desires.

1. Title
[_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_] Classified [_] Other
First Name: ..............................................
Initial: ..........
Last Name:..............................................
Password: ................................ (max. 8 char)
Code Name:..............................................
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........................
2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat [_] F-15 Eagle [_] F-16 Falcon [_] F-117A Stealth [_] Classified
3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): ......../......./......
4. Serial Number: ..........................................
5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package [_] Catalog / showroom [_] Independent arms broker [_] Mail order [_] Discount store [_] Government surplus [_] Classified
6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased: [_] Heard loud noise, looked up [_] Store display [_] Espionage [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer [_] Previously attacked by one
7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product: [_] Style / appearance [_] Speed / maneuverability [_] Price / value [_] Comfort / convenience [_] Kickback / bribe [_] Recommended by salesperson [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation [_] Advanced Weapons Systems [_] Backroom politics [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used: [_] North America [_] Iraq [_] Aircraft carrier [_] Iraq [_] Middle East (not Iraq) [_] Iraq [_] Africa [_] Iraq [_] Asia / Far East [_] Iraq [_] Misc.third world countries [_] Iraq [_] Libya [ ] France [ ] Classified
9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future: [_] Color TV [_] VCR [_] ICBM [_] Killer satellite [_] CD player [_] Surface to air missile system [_] Space shuttle [_] Home computer [_] Nuclear weapon [ ] Chemical / biological agent [_] Other weapon of mass destruction
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Indicate all that
[_] Communist / Socialist [_] Terrorist [_] Crazed [_] Neutral [_] Democratic [_] Dictatorship [_] Corrupt [_] Primitive / Tribal
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending [_] Cash [_] Suitcase of cocaine [_] Oil revenues [_] Personal check [_] Credit card [_] Ransom money [_] Travelers check
12. Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker [_] Sales / marketing [_] Revolutionary [_] Clerical [_] Mercenary [_] Tyrant [_] Middle management [_] Eccentric billionaire [_] Defense Minister / General [_] Retired [_] Student
13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis: [_] Golf [_] Boating / sailing [_] Sabotage [_] Running / jogging [_] Propaganda / misinformation [_] Destabilization / overthrow [_] Default on loans [_] Gardening [_] Crafts [_] Black market / smuggling [_] Collectibles / collections [_] Watching sports on TV [_] Wines [_] Interrogation / torture [_] Household pets [_] Crushing rebellions [_] Espionage / reconnaissance [_] Fashion clothing [_] Border disputes [_] Extortion [ ] Mutually Assured Destruction

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to: McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION, Marketing Department, Military Aerospace Division

IMPORTANT:  This email is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor, or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, although the pit bull next door is living on borrowed time. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites, whisk and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes.

08 March 2010

When Did She Grow Up?

Danielle and her Dad.  And now she's heading off to college in the fall?

05 March 2010

The Connection Between Concerts And Foot Apparel...

It is amazing what you can learn from your kids.  Rachel loves 30 Seconds To Mars and My Chemical Romance.  For her birthday she wanted tickets to see the former as they will be nearby soon.  Unfortunately there were only 'Standing Room Only' tickets still available.  Apparently it was a concert only worth going to if she got to sit down for it.  My Chemical Romance, however, 'Standing Room Only' tickets were the only way to go.  Because, and I quote here... 
"I want to be close enough to tie Gerard Way's shoes."
As I said to her, "I'm sure he wants a young teenage girl to tie his shoes."
"No, Mom.  That would be creepy.  He's way too old for me.  He's also married and drinks alot.  I just want to be close enough to tie his shoes."
Oooookkkkaaaayyyy.  Glad we got that cleared up.  Knowing Rachel, if she tied his shoes, she'd tie them together.  Into a Gordian Knot.  Sure hope he wears loafers or slippers to sing in...   Just sayin'...
Quote: "You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance." ~ Franklin P. Jones

04 March 2010

Driving Miss Daisy, He Is Not!

Every morning I drive the kids to school and this morning was no different than any other... until turning on to the street the school resides on....

Now I have seen some things in my time but this was a first.; A gentleman was playing a flute whilst driving.; I am often amazed at the activities some people pair with driving.; Like...
Mustache trimming - What are these men thinking?; You have a pair of sharp little scissors near your face.; Maybe the thought of doing a little cosmetic surgery while they are at it appeals to them?;

Men shaving - both with an electric razor and even one gentleman with shaving cream on his face and a regular razor.; (I still wonder how he rinsed between strokes)

Brushing teeth - Again, I wonder about the rinsing and spit.; (Not that I really want to find out)

Women putting on makeup - And I do mean the entire process.; I am especially in awe of the women who don't poke themselves in the eye with their mascara wands.; Or rip their eyelashes off completely with the eye lash curler when they come to an abrupt halt.; And let's not forget the eyeliner pencils.; Lipstick up a nostril or bozo the clown mishaps.;

Eating while driving - I don't mean the hamburger or french fries kind.; I've seen people with a bowl and a spoon.; Or bowl and fork.

Blowing one's nose - (with both hands) Ok.; The husband has done this.; At least until he was squealed on by the kids.

Cleaning glasses - I sometimes wonder just how myopic these people are while they are driving without their prescription lenses.

Cell Phones - This definitely gets at the very least annoying, at the most very dangerous.; And yes, I have been a guilty party of this one.; My next car is going to have one of those hands free thingys.

Texting - My eldest was recently busted on this offense.; A clear lack of good, common sense.

GPS adjustments - While these things are quite handy and I would be lost without mine (pun intended), putting in a street address while driving is just the ticket to not arriving at your destination... at least not on time.

Grooming hair - I have seen this mostly on military bases where the women have to have their hair up when in uniform.; Yet there is also plenty of people who brush and comb whilst looking into the rear view mirror at themselves.

Getting dressed - Or undressed as the case may be.;
The playing of the flute though, was a first for me.; I wonder if anyone else has ever seen that before?; I wonder if his radio was dead?; For sure his hamster was....
QOTD:; "The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."; ~ Bill Watterson, Cartoonist

03 March 2010

The Art Of A Title...

I was asked today, just where I come up with some of the titles for my posts.  I had to ask, "Why?  Is there something wrong with them?"  But no.  Apparently some of them are thought to be a little... well odd.  So I went back and looked at them and decided that it's a good thing none of my old English teachers read my blog.  Or Social Services.  Or come to think of it, the SPCA.  And here I thought the only people I had to be worried about (according to my kids) was the fashion police...

Well, if they sound odd, I can always blame it on my husband and his warped sense of humor... It's obvious that I've spent a little too much time within his sphere of influence. 

Questions Only Daddy Can Answer...
Do Chinese Kids Try To Dig Their Way To America...
Rice Krispies, Butt Wind And Out Of The Mouths Of Babes...
Santa Clause Might Want To Rethink Stopping At Our House...
We Are Raising Social Hyenas...
A Father Who Only Has Daughters To Torture...
What Does The English Language, Hoo Hoos And Pole Dancing Have In Common?
The Cookie Of Trouble And The Ten Commandments...
Loretta Lou And The Logistics Of Selling Your Kids On Ebay...
Chaos, Panic, Disorder... My Work Here Is Done...
A Continuing Process, A Combat Zone, And Leopard Print...
Janedictorian or Drivethrudictorian...
What Does A Purse, FEMA, And Being A Packhorse Have In Common?
A Wart, Easter Eggs And The Troglodytes...
Mr. Alarm Clock's Obituary...
Graduating To A Nudist Colony...
Evacuation Plans In Case Of A Zombie Attack...
QOTD:  "If the English Language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a lack of flowers."  Doug Larson

After Tuesday... Even The Week Says WTF...

I've said this before but it bears repeating.; (BTW, the F stands for 'FUDGE' because, after all, this IS a blog my Mother and children read on occasion... and it also might be because I like chocolate fudge brownies...)

QOTD: "It's not denial.; I'm just selective about the reality I accept."; Bill Watterson, Cartoonist

02 March 2010

Evacuation Plans In Case Of A Zombie Attack...

I have no idea why people read, watch and worry about Zombie attacks, but it has been a large part of the conversations going on within (and without) our household.  Even Mrs. Who is dreaming about them.

So as we are starting to make plans for our daughter to go to school in England, her father says to her...
"I'll have to see if you have evacuation privileges at one the the joint British/American bases in England.  I guess I should make sure your military dependent ID is up to date.  You never know when you might have to evacuate due to Zombie invasion."
And of course, Rachel had to throw in her 2 cents, "Yeah.  If there is a Zombie invasion, Danielle, you are SOOOOOO screwed!  England is, after all, an island.  Good luck with that."
QOTD: "Don't worry... the zombies are looking for brains.  You're safe."  ~ Unknown

01 March 2010

All Things British... Or Not...

So Danielle has long been a fan of British television.  You can always find her watching either Dr. Who or Top Gear.  She has even got the rest of the family hooked, especially on Top Gear.  Now if you don't know what this show is about... by all means, let me introduce you...

Now in the previous post I discussed Danielle and celebrity stalking but I didn't mention exactly WHO.  One of the individuals high on her list is Richard Hammond of Top Gear.  If you have never seen Top Gear then you must give it a try.  It is not only interesting but the presenters are also very funny.  The premise of the show is to race across a certain country, obstacle or environment.  The three presenters use different methods of transportation to some hilarious effect.  They have raced across such places as Vietnam, Japan, the USA, England and even to the North Pole.  

Now if you want to know why a mother might be concerned by her daughter being thrilled with one of these guys, just watch this... http://www.metacafe.com/f/mediawiki/editform/en/422846/.  If you go to uTube, you will find plenty of other clips to see.  (And by the way, Richard Hammond was hospitalized in intensive care after this accident.  He is ok now, but I sure wouldn't have wanted to be his wife!) 

I wish I could describe this show better.  It really is addicting.  But to be honest?  I'm hoping the Brits are a little more down to earth than this.  Then again... I hope the Brits are ready for Danielle... 
QOTD:  “Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, 'Psst. That's the Secret Service.'”   Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)