26 January 2016

I'm Not the Easter Bunny Either


Early this morning...

Me to daughter, Erin: "I need you to get up. We need to be on time this morning because I have a dental appointment right after I drop you off at school."

Erin: *grumbling*

A few minutes later, she shows her face, looks at me and grumpily says, "You're not the doughnut fairy."

Me: *blink*

Me: "Um, I guess I could put a doughnut under your pillow."

Erin: "Eewww!"

A little later, on the way to school...

Erin: "I love you, but I'm putting in my ear buds and listening to Halsey."

Me: "Admiral Halsey?"

Erin: "Someone more amazing."

Me: "More amazing than me?"

Erin: "No. A different kind of amazing. You're a Mom kind of amazing."


QOTD: "Not only am I an amazing mother, I have amazing kids. Yes, you should be jealous." ~ me

24 January 2016

Want Ad

Today's news:

Missing: Odd sense of humor

Last seen: Somewhere south of normal and north of crazy

Contact: Lemon Stand. I really miss it and just want it to come home.

Reward: Good Karma

23 January 2016

The Reason I Think That Twitter Will Never Catch On To Main Stream America

Twitter is truly frustrating for those of us who love to use the most verbiage for our buck. 140 letters? What if I want to quote famous quotes such as this one from Terry Pratchett (proof that there is intelligence on earth):

"Most species do their own evolving, making it up as they go along, which is the way Nature intended. And this is all very natural and organic and in tune with mysterious cycles of the cosmos, which believes that there’s nothing like millions of years of really frustrating trial and error to give a species moral fiber and, in some cases, backbone."  Terry Pratchett (b.1948-) English Writer

I couldn't even post it thus because it is 140 letters too long:

 Loquacious people everywhere, beware the perils and affect of Twitter on the English language! (and don't even get me started on those little picture thingys)

QOTD: "Verbiage is for the verbose." ~ Andrew McMeel

17 January 2016

I'm Not the Only One Making Lemonade

I love lemons that make me laugh and as I was on twitter (@lemon_stand) tonight, I ran across two awesome lemon quotes:

   "When life gives you lemons, simply let them wash over you in a gentle, lemon-scented, yellow wave. Revel in your new wealth of lemons." ~ @jeffzentner

   "Horde your lemons in underground bunker. Watch the price of lemons skyrocket. Sell lemons at high prices and cackle." ~ @justinaireland

But one of my favorites came from a friend of mine long ago:
   Someone recently sent me a card that read...

            On the outside: Hang in there...sometimes life hands you lemons, but then you can make lemonade.
            On the inside: Of course, sometimes life pulls down your pants, runs a power sander across your naked butt, then pours lemon juice on your raw, abraded buttocks. In that case, a cool citrus drink wouldn't really help it, but darn it...you've got to hang in there anyway!

QOTD: "The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser in case you thought optimism was dead." ~ Robert Brault

14 January 2016

I Didn't Win the Lottery

Image result for lottery   The Powerball lottery was up to about 1.5 Billion US Dollars. I didn't win. This was not a surprise as I knew I'd have a much better chance of getting my kids to pick up after themselves, teach my cat to sing or decide I needed a tattoo on my posterior. I am also glad I am in good company as no one I know won it either. We can now all go out and commiserate together. It'll be fun.

QOTD: "Here's somthing to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?" ~ Jay Leno

13 January 2016

I Smell Something Burning

Image result for humorous quotations 

QOTD: "It so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it." ~ Sam Levenson

12 January 2016


Bald Eagle Missing Man Formation

   Tonight I'm grateful for my children as they have always brought me way more joy than pain. I'm grateful for my husband who taught me and our children how to laugh, when to laugh and how to look at things from outside the box. I'm grateful for my friends and family for the blessing they have always been to me.

    And although I was able to make good headway on cleaning and organizing my sewing room today, I am grateful for the fluffy pillow calling to me. Tomorrow is another day and I'll be grateful to start finishing the many quilting projects I have run across that still need to be completed.

QOTD: "I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose." ~ Woody Allen - American actor, director, comedian and author

11 January 2016

Mr Alarm Clock's Obituary

Mr Alarm Clock
I am contemplating the premeditated murder of our old alarm clock. The same alarm clock my husband has already resurrected once before.

At least I have the obituary written already. Only have to update it a little bit. It's Monday. Nuff said.
Mr. Alarm Clock (1998-2006) New England - Alarm Clock of the Lemon Stand household died Thursday morning, October 26, 2006 after a sudden traumatic incident involving the accidental awakening of the mistress of Lemon Stand. Mr. Clock died of massive internal injuries. He was 8 years old.

Mr. Clock was adopted in 1998 and was a permanent member of the bedside nightstand of the owners of the Lemon Stand Household, where he served admirably for many years in the master bedroom. His service included performing the duties of time keeper and wake up calls no matter what shift the owners worked.

Later in life, he remained a faithful companion of the Master of the Lemon Stand household and was so distraught upon the recent deployment to Iraq of said Master that he became inconsolable. He would alarm the household at inappropriate times and on occasion would break out into song without prompting.

In the early morning hours of Thursday, before the sun had come up, Mr. Clock startled the mistress who promptly defended her sanity by propelling Mr. Alarm Clock into a wall at a high rate of speed. Mr. Clock died on impact caused by the sudden stop. No charges have been filed as it was an act of self defense.

Mr. Clock will be buried with full military honors at the town transfer station (garbage dump) on Saturday. In lieu of flowers, Memorial Contributions may be made to Soldiers Angels. Mr. Clock would have been pleased to know that his demise was able to touch another service member.

(Originally posted 26 Oct 2006)
QOTD: "My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed." ~ unknown

10 January 2016

I'm Still In New England, Right?

It IS January, isn't it? I'm still in New England, right? It's 57° out here in the middle of nowhere (we live in a neighborhood where most of the neighbors could be considered edible... You can relax though, because we are NOT cannibals.  You may trust me when I say homo sapiens are very safe at our dinner table... Well, ok... homo sapiens are at least safe from being the literal 'roast' of honor.  Most of our neighbors happen to be wild turkeys, wild rabbits, pheasant, deer, moose, bear... although I unequivocally DO draw the line on eating the squirrels... one must have standards...) and it's raining like Noah is coming to visit. Silver lining?  It's a great day to kick back and while listening to the rain, have a cup of hot tea, eat cookies and read, write, sew, quilt, or watch a movie. Or go out to sing in the rain and come in with pneumonia. Ah, choices, choices... :)
QOTD: "Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon." ~ Susan Ertz

09 January 2016

Lost: A Little Grey Matter

Grey Matter
https://twitter.com/ritgraymatter logo
   Lost: My brain has gone missing sometime this morning. I remember having it when I woke up but it has since gone a wandering.

   It's medium sized, wrinkled and colored with more than a little bit of grey matter.

   It answers to the names Mom, wife, Lemon Stand and very occasionally 'hey you'.

   It has a great deal of compassion (when warranted), wit and snark (when pressed).

   It does tend to wander and wonder with a little more frequency than it used to but is at peace with this.

   It has, in the past, gravitated to humorous situations, chocolate, books and occasionally fabric stores (whenever it thinks it can get away with it) and has a fine tuned sense of the absurd.

  If anyone should find it, please tell it that it is missed and is wanted desperately at home.

QOTD: "Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't tell where it keeps it's brain." Arthur Weasley, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets ~ J. K. Rolling

08 January 2016


   As so many people before me, I have fallen in love with the work of Sayuri Sasaki Hemann, a textile artist. It started with pictures of her seascape of stitched and embroidered felted barnacles, organza anemones, organza and lace jellyfish, gauze seaweed and coral.
   I didn't know until I visited her website and looked at the video of  "Urban Aquarium" that this display of aquatic life actually gently moves as if in a current, making it look even more of a realistic dreamscape. 

   I have always loved the mesmerizing, soothing effect of aquariums. Especially salt water ones.  There's just something about how the light encounters vibrant color and movement that has always drawn me. Here Sayuri captures this magical world of indulged senses and the peacefulness it evokes causing one to become indolent just to feast the eyes. I have seriously thought of trying to recreate this perfection in my living room but alas know such talent cannot be duplicated by my hands.


  Time to stop and smell the roses.

QOTD: "Though the artist must remain master of his craft, the surface, at times raised to the highest pitch of loveliness, should transmit to the beholder the sensation which possessed the artist." ~ Alfred Sisley (1839-1899) - en plein air artist

07 January 2016

Vacation Is Over

Since I am determined to make a dent in the cleaning to-do list, I'm dragging out energy fortification... The Party Pack for a cleaning party of one so I don't have to share. (One must always look for the silver lining. :)

QOTD: (A list today)

- 9 out of 10 people like chocolate, the 10th person lies
- Chocolate is the answer, who cares what the question is
- Never under-estimate the power of chocolate
- Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands

06 January 2016

Lemonade Made Daily...

It is my belief that every day is an opportunity for a new beginning but I think the vast majority of people believe it only comes at the beginning of a new year. Still, I always have felt the most important things in life are family, health, friends and humor. Other things that bring joy and color to my world are sewing, quilting, writing, art and music.

Do you know what is important to you and what brings joy and color to your life? Knowing seems to always be the first step.

I need the outlet of writing and creating so will be keeping my blog online for when I can find time but anyone wanting daily lemonade, humor or inspiration can find me on Twitter @lemon_stand

QOTD: A new year is like a 365 page book that you are adding to your library, today you get to start writing the first page, make it worth the read. ~ unknown

"Every time we start thinking we're the center of the universe, the universe turns around and says with a slightly distracted air, 'I'm sorry, what'd you say your name was again?'" ~ Margaret Maron

"When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed that they are not it." ~ Bernard Bailey