25 November 2009

Why Some Parents Wonder Where They Went Wrong... Or Maybe Not?

Put down your drinks gentle reader.... The following was forwarded to me by my husband who HATES to pass on any of the junk he gets on a daily basis, but one of the guys he works with convinced him to read this considering how many kids we have. 

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A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad." With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.


Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. 

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.


Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.


Love, Your Son John


PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.

QOTD:  Little Debbie came running into the house after school one day, shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy. "Come in the living room and tell me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math, and 20 in science."

7 Intelligent Comments:

Roses said...

Snort!

Ann M. said...

Heh! That's a good one :)

Mrs. Who said...

I wish that was true at my house...

Klaatu said...

Dad should have written back " If you don't improve your grades, the chances are good you have just written an autobiography. You're grounded until your grades improve. And for being a smartass."
Love Dad.

Lemon Stand said...

Oh YES, that is perfect Klaatu! Thanks for the addition!

Tink said...

ho ho ho. A lesson we all need to remember when it comes to children. Though if any of mine had been that smart of an a$$ they would have been dead and knew it.

Noguchi Designs said...

This is great, just found your blog and I can't stop reading through, Thanks for making me smile today!