Would you do ANYTHING for your best friend? Well, Kelly messed up her back again and was sorely in need of cheering up. I also had a magnificently craptastic day. So what did we do as soon as we got online? We decided to look up and swap creative insults... until the laughing meant pain killers for her backache and pain killers for my headache. Still, it had us both in tears (of the good variety)...
There are quite a few sites with creative insults but we were looking for ones that did not contain foul language and those that we felt were not humiliating in intent. So here you go...
"Were I to find him in the wild being torn apart alive by rabid dogs, I'd merrily sell popcorn."
"You are a sleezy, slimy, sticky, stinky, scum bucket full of maggot vomit and horse poo."
"If you're going to be two faced then, sweetie, at least let one of them be pretty." (Kelly: OMG!!! This one is sooo bad!!)
"If I throw a stick, will you leave?" (No, Kelly... this one is sooo bad!!!)
"I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you."
"You are the ignoble, ignorant, illiterate, incestuous, illegitimate progeny of parents who belong to the phyla insecta."
"Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view."
"I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce."
"Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental."
"You sound reasonable. Time to up my medication."
"I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant."
"If you had half a brain, it'd be lonely..."QOTD: "If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved." J. Russell Lynes (b.1910) American Writer