24 January 2013

Humor Is Reason Gone Mad...

Sometimes you just need to find something fun and humorous to waste your time on.  I woke up this morning and the wind chill was -11° which is not quite cold enough to close schools, much to the kids disappointment, and so humor was in short supply around casa de Lemon Stand.  The level of which dropped even further when I checked the weather report for the next 36 hours.  -25° wind chill is definitely NOT cause for celebration in my humble opinion.  Definitely not a "Calgon, take me away!" moment unless you are a polar bear or a penguin.

Still, I looked out my bedroom window and thought to myself, "Wow! I woke up this morning! And then, Hey! Who turned down the thermostat?"  Realizing that it was going to be a day of choosing what I let get to me, I decided to ask the question, "How much trouble can I get into?" Which would have, no doubt, amused my Mother-in-law because I'm sure all seven of her kids never had to ask themselves that question. It was just SOP (standard operating procedure) and the question would have been "What can I do (and get away with) to a sibling today."  If children wrangling were a winter sport, my Mother-in-law would have won a Gold Medal, every four years.

So, I ignore everything that hurts, heat up some hot apple cider, and decide it's a perfect day for digging up humor. Yes, I do believe a shovel is in order.  I haven't explored the humor of Groucho Marx lately (the post title not withstanding) and since the kids keep coming up with fake mustaches, it's seems to be a bit apropos to share this today.  Some of them surprised me, but they all made me laugh or smile.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
 ~ Groucho Marx (1890-1977) an American comedian and film and television star. He was known as a master of quick wit and is still widely considered to be one of the best comedians of the modern era.

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Contents from normal neural synapsis goes here....
Should unnatural neural synapsis occur? Take one cherry chocolate Hershey Kiss and carry on.
Should NO neural synapsis occur? Take two full strength chocolate Hershey Kisses and
try again in the morning.