24 October 2010

Survival In The Wilderness of the Internet...

You see before you another post.  Yep.  It's back to lemonade every day.  Were you here with me today, you would have seen me doing the Happy Snoopy Dance in my pajamas.  No, my world is actually pretty stressful with worries at the moment, but here is my daily glass of lemonade (while I hide take a small vacation from my Domestic Goddess duties):

Today, I have bravely forayed into the wilderness of the internet.  

I have now come to the conclusion that internet programmers, web designers and social network engineers with degrees, should all have their diplomas revoked.  They all need to go back and study, in great depth and detail, the subject of communication.  Which really is a conundrum, because, in their case, in addition to their education in communication, they desperately need to grasp the proper use of the English language... so they can actually communicate... in order to learn how to communicate.  Do you see the problem here?  

Now, correct me if I'm wrong (honey, that was meant to be rhetorical... oh, and you might want to put on your kevlar before you come home tonight...), but wasn't the internet created as a means of communication? Haven't these people ever been acquainted with Merriam-Webster?  American Heritage?  Heck, even the Oxford English Dictionary would do.  What?  Were they trying to solve incalculable mathematical problems in their heads when this reference book and the concept of communication was introduced to them?  If so, I would love to, at the very least, elucidate for them, the definition of communication:  it is a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior.  You know... a technique for expressing ideas effectively?  Folks, someone did not pass on the memo.  

Now that I have had time to ponder this problem, I have come to the realization that I am possibly in error.  Perhaps instead, these individuals of extraordinary educated intellect should be taking English as a second language, because it is glaringly indisputable that English is no longer their 'mother tongue'.

Oh, I know there are internet programmers, web designers and social network engineers inhabiting the width and breadth of the globe, but I'm also absolutely certain this epidemic transcends all the language barriers of the planet's population.  So if you are French, please read the above and lather, rinse, repeat.  If you are Scandinavian, Germanic, from the near east, far east or alien from Mars... please read the above and lather, rinse, repeat because the descriptions written on any internet related subject is not written in a form of communication that any of your countrymen (or women - I'm not gender discriminate... although I do believe that women were created second as an improvement to the flawed model that came before... but that is a post for another day) can understand. 

So, one more time with feeling: communication is suppose to be the exchange of information between a communicator and a communicatee.  This way, when one person illuminates another with their infinite wisdom, the recipient is actually enlightened.  Do you see now how this is supposed to work?

In other words, attempting to discover mysteries of the source code behind the blog is not for the faint of heart. (and believe me, Google has not been my friend) My blog needs a makeover and researching how to make these changes I want has finally made it incredibly, irresistibly compelling for me to think about cheerfully discovering what the capacity of my car's trunk space truly is... using the dead bodies unit of measure...
QOTD: “...And now I give it [the book] to you. What you do with it will be of more than passing interest to us all." ~ William Goldman, introduction to his version of the book, 'The Princess Bride'

8 Intelligent Comments: