31 December 2016

The Hunting Lesson

My need for humor today exceeds my ability to produce it.  So I, of course, think back on conversations with my husband.

I believe I have mentioned a time or two that we live in the middle of nowhere. Think lots of rabbits, wild turkeys, moose, deer, bald eagles and the occasional bear. You know, it sounds like Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom now that I think about it. (Yes, I know I'm dating myself, it's ok)

Inside the house are a few more critters, but there is one in particular that "chose" my husband as "her" human.  Most of this year he's been deployed and when he didn't come home after about a week she "shunned" his side of the bed. It was quite amusing at first because it has been almost commical after the years of me petting her while she's purring away, at least until she heard him coming. Then she was gone. And I wasn't the only one she did this to. Everyone was second fiddle.

After a few months of this I realized she was mourning him when she stuck like glue to me every day (and night).  There was not much I or he could do about it. We all missed him as we always do when he's off on super-suit duties.

About 4 months into this trip, his cat brought me what I thought was a dead mouse. Dropped it right next to me. On our bed! Then she sat back and watched me. I was struck dumb. When the mouse suddenly got up and starting to run, she calmly reached out a palm to hold it down. I jumped out of my bed and backed up as the mouse got away His cat (whose name, by the way, is "Mouse") just sat there looking at me. I left and went for a walk.

When I told my husband what happened? He's like, 'awww. Isn't that sweet. She's trying to teach you how to hunt.'

I seriously considered voting him off the island because I couldn't give him couch duty.

When it was close to the time for his return, he and I had the following conversation:

Me: "You know she'll be mad at you when you return?"

Husband: "Not me. Watch her when I get home. She always forgives me."

Me: "Guess I'll be back to chopped liver."

Husband: "At least she hunts."

Me: "True. It'll add a little protein to your diet."

QOTD: If I can find the purrfect quote for this post, I'll let you know. (bad. I know. I just don't have it in me today to find one)

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Contents from normal neural synapsis goes here....
Should unnatural neural synapsis occur? Take one cherry chocolate Hershey Kiss and carry on.
Should NO neural synapsis occur? Take two full strength chocolate Hershey Kisses and
try again in the morning.