31 August 2010

A Man Who Knows His Math...

My husband commutes an hour each way to the base every day and he likes to use the time to gather his thoughts about what he needs to get done that day and what his priorities are as well as what was done and what still needs to be done. We have often talked about the kind of traffic he runs into everyday and I marvel that it doesn't seem to bother him.

He emailed me the following post as a light hearted joke to me and I would like to share it. (Warning: this is humor and NOT meant to be taken seriously)


(NOT ME, BUT SOMEONE JUST LIKE ME ~ my husband's addition)
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, Who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive Onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out is window And gave the woman the finger.

"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave In a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.

That's 96 miles each day.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.

Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.

There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.

That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper,

I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.

Statistically, females drive half of these.

That's 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.

That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.

That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females Have seriously considered suicide or homicide.

That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.

That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females Carry weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Give her the finger? I don't think so.


  1. And that woman is me. :) Sometimes. Okay, mostly.

  2. and you never know what man just found out last week that his wife of 20 years is having an affair with the neighbor; is suffering from depression; and just got laid off - and has a gun in the car...
    We really need to practice courtesy a whole lot more in our society. I know that this one was written "tongue in cheek" but there is a certain underlying truth involved. The Bearded One and I were talking about just this issue as we ran errands on Sunday and had several close calls with people who turn their brain off when they get behind the wheel. I could go on and on, but think that I'll stop here.

  3. OMG! That was hilarious! Ahahahahahahahahhaha

  4. LeeAnn - too funny.

    Christie - not funny but unfortunately very true. it's been pretty hard times for our families and pretty much everyone we know.

    Meleah - I truly needed this humor yesterday... and the day before that...and the.... :o)

  5. Sounds like my DH (who cannot stand anyone else driving and some days his own)

  6. Your husband is a wise, wise man. :)


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