28 October 2010

To Be Shot, Or Not To Be Shot, That Is Not The Question...

For me, the flu sure gives new meaning to the sentiment of "shoot me now".  Every flu season my goose is always cooked.  If I get the flu shot, I get the flu. If I don't get the flu shot, I get the flu.  In the latter scenario, however, the "shoot me now" moment comes at some point during my adventures in the land of third-degree, black-belted, ninja-microbes.

The worst part, as far as I'm concerned?  Even though I've just had the flu, I'll still have to get the flu shot because those third-degree, black-belted, ninja-microbes?  Yeah, they have family.  All of whom are clearly competing to win that title of third-degree, black-belted, ninja-microbe of the year.  Have I mentioned they all have type 'A' personalities?

Meanwhile, lest I somehow am incompetent enough to forget the misery the flu wreaks, I always can rely on my conscience to remind me ad nauseum to pull up my big girl panties and just get the darn shot:

In a quite cheerful tone of voice...  "Hey, do you want to be really violently ill for a few days?  It's a great way to get a short vacation...  on the floor...  in front of the toilet.  Just imagine listening to the veritable orchestra of unimaginable music.  The soothing, dulcet sounds of running water.  Why, you could close your eyes (that's assuming you could pry them open in the first place) and have a real "Calgon, take me away" moment...  You could be front row and center!  Or even better?  The main attraction!"
By the way, if you do not know what 'Calgon' is or what this description refers to, please do not tell me.  I already know I have more life-experience than you...  but worry not...  your time will come and I'm laughing already...
QOTD: "I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert." ~ Demetri Martin, New York Magazine, October 3, 2005


  1. HA! Lemon Stand, I have NEVER taken a flu shot, and I have not had the flu in about 30 years.

    But. But. But...I have taken a job at a hospital, and it is MANDATORY!

    I just know I'm gonna' get it. I just KNOW that I am. Sure, they say "You can't get the flu from the flu shot." I think they lie!


  2. I was looking through my template and noticed you were there, but not on my blogroll. I have corrected that grievous error.

  3. i don't get the flu shot nor do I get the flu, but I suddenly feel most certain that THIS year... I will get the flu. Dang it.

  4. Andy - Hopefully you won't get it from the shot either. Sounds like you have a good immune system.

    Bob - I really come to your blog to read your posts and I'm glad you come by to visit me too.

    Bou - You live in the Sunshine State. Eat lots of citrus fruit and avoid sick people like.... well, the plague... :)


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