08 November 2010

Holding Down The Fort And No Happy Endings...

Me to my husband, who is currently on 'military vacation, with orders'  - "Does your back feel any better?"

Husband - "No.  It's still hurting pretty bad."

Me - "Why don't you try to get a massage?"  (Obviously I must be on some strong meds to suggest this to a man who is currently in Las Vegas) 


Husband - "Well, I guess I could look in the phone book under licensed massage therapist."

Me -  "Licensed?"

Husband - "Yeah.  You know.... a massage WITHOUT a happy ending?"


Next day...

Me - "How did your massage go?"

Husband - "Other than the fact that the massage therapist looked like a former member of the East German Olympic Swim Team?"

Me - "Okkkaaaay.  Besides that."

Husband - "My back was a little better last night, but I couldn't walk when I tried to get up this morning and finally had to call our civilian medical insurance to see if they covered chiropractic visits.  They DO.  I went."

Me - "No happy ending there either, huh?"

Husband - "No."

Me - "Well, on the home front, everyone met Erin's Big Sister (from Big Brothers Big Sisters) on Sunday.  I probably should say SHE got introduced to our family... for dinner... I DID warn her ahead of time what to expect and she was still willing to be brave."

Husband - "I take it she survived to tell the tale.  What were the kids like?"

Me - "Um.  Pretty tame compared to our normal dinner conversations.  I made the mistake of telling your daughters at the dinner table about the massage..."

Husband - "Yeah?"

Me - "Nicole wanted to know if you had a happy ending.  [I just want to know why it is that our daughters take after my husband so much? Whatever happened to my contribution to their DNA?] Erin's Big Sister choked on her spaghetti with that comment.  She's ok.  In fact, I'd have to say you'd have been impressed with how fast her drinking reflexes were.  We found out when I told them of your conversation with the Chief..."
Chief - "How are you doing in the pool [of workers] over there?"
Husband - "Well, the pool is pretty shallow and I think somebody peed in it."
Chief - "That good, huh?"
Husband - "Did the family scare her off?"

Me - "No.  She's willing to give it another try after you get back... I probably should warn her about the difference in the quality of dinner conversation when you are here and when you are not here..."


  1. =snort=

    I think I want to have dinner with your family...

  2. "Well, the pool is pretty shallow and I think somebody peed in it."

    I choked on my spaghetti...and it was four hours ago that I ate it. Bwahahahahahahahaha!

    Good on you all for keeping good humor while Dad's away, and suffering at the hands of "massage therapists." I have had ONE massage in my life, which my wife forced me to undergo.

    I could not stand up straight, or drive safely in heavy traffic due to the soreness for four days.

    Seriously. Never again! Seriously.

  3. I'm impressed, yours actually goes to see someone when he's hurt.

    We have the "woman they love to hate" here in the village. Mean, cruel... but you will walk the next day. Took me weeks to get Dh to see her this summer... then I got the "should have gone sooner" DUH!!!!

    BUT, he actually went to the Dr's for his knee last week - swollen on top - concensus "stay off of it" Yeah, like that's going to happen. "take aleve twice/day" we're going to have to keep that stuff around, the swelling is down. Aleve is new to us, only been here in the last year or so.

    Looks like your Big Sister survived her "initiation" :)

  4. Ahahahahhaha! That was so funny. I do hope your husbands back gets better soon!

  5. Thumper - Oh, I'd love to have you over for dinner... I'd have to warn you though that 90% of what is said is unbloggable. (I started to describe examples here but they ended up post size, so stay tuned)

    Andy - Huh. And that one was sooooo tame. I must be becoming jaded to what his brain conjures up. About my husband's conversational skills? See above description then lather, rinse, repeat. :)

  6. Darn it, I hit the publish button before I got done!

    FW2 - I wouldn't praise the man too fast. This has been going on for MONTHS and he has been told to have physical therapy but he hasn't had time to pencil it into his busy schedule. Granted, he IS incredibly busy but I can't convince him of the concept of taking care of himself so that he is around to take care of business. That's the SAME concept HE taught and preaches at ME.

    (Honey, I hope you have read this. I know I'm a nag about certain things but you also know I worry about certain things... love you)

    Meleah - Me too. The "Honey-Do" List is growing longer by the hour... (actually, I have been learning how to change a faucet, take apart (AND put back together) plumb pipes, level a door, design a pad I can put under the sheet on his side of the bed that will 'zap' him if he presses the snooze alarm more than once... I'm rather proud of myself actually for reducing the the "honey-do' list all by myself!) :)

  7. Love this post. Took me a long time to get my hubby to go to the chiro as well. Worked well after he went and he still goes occasionally.


Contents from normal neural synapsis goes here....
Should unnatural neural synapsis occur? Take one cherry chocolate Hershey Kiss and carry on.
Should NO neural synapsis occur? Take two full strength chocolate Hershey Kisses and
try again in the morning.