29 December 2010

The Dangers Inherent In Using Your Mother' s Cell Phone To Post Comments On Your Tumbler Account...

Danielle decided to force herself to attend Driver's Ed. so that she can become one of the mobile masses. To limit the pain of this adventure she elected to take the classroom portion in one fell swoop in a one week long torture session.  Day one of this vacation was postponed due to inclement weather.  Go figure.  Eight inches of snow A little bit of snow and the area businesses roll up their welcome mat.  OK.  Maybe it was a little more than a little bit of snow relatively speaking since most of our town did not get hit as hard as everywhere around us.

Kelly, who lives in a city about two and a half hours southeast of us, were blessed with more than a foot (that would be twelve inches for those individuals like myself who are measurement challenged) of the fluffy white stuff than we did and SHE still went to work.   (of course that may have been because there are no dirt roads in a city... and they have more than one snowplow...and they do not live in mountain territory... and they have smaller paved driveways than we do)

Back to Danielle's Adventure in the land of higher education...

Day TWO, that would have been yesterday, was a very bad, no good, sucks to be her kind of day... at least from Danielle's perspective.  Although it did start off with a large cup of coffee for her, apparently, that was the only high point in her day.

Danielle didn't get to eat breakfast because she couldn't drag her butt out of bed in time for a shower and food.

She got to the school which is three towns south from us and I got to drag MY butt out of bed to drive her a little early.  Now normally, this would be a plus, but not when it is about twenty degrees Fahrenheit outside, a wind chill factor of about zero, wet hair from morning shower... and an office that does not open until precisely 8am.  Danielle is, however lucky enough to not have a mother like all the other fifteen and a half year old cretins (which couldn't possibly be true since you can't get a driver's permit in this state until you are almost seventeen years of age) according to Danielle (who is 'well' over the age of eighteen... by about four months) students who didn't just quickly dump their kids off to fend for themselves in this frozen wilderness... (apparently the reason for this became quite clear within about the first five minutes of class...) and who, instead, just cranked up the heater.

Danielle's class gets a ten minute break after two hours... with a bathroom that is not easily found. Ah, the tortures that coffee drinkers must endure at times makes me delighted I am not one of the addicted caffeine addicts. 

After another two hours of Danielle getting hit by flying airplanes, bits of rolled up paper, intense juvenile conversation loud enough to drown out the sound of the teacher's monotone and an unknown girl who likes to just glare at Danielle for no apparent reason intense elucidation for her classmates, a ten minute break that was very kindly extended to fifteen minutes which I suspect the teacher wasn't used to escape the mongrel hoards was bestowed upon these grateful and studiousspecimens of intelligence students for their lunch break.

Danielle forgot to bring a lunch.  Like I said, the morning cup of coffee was the high point of her day, because although her kind and thoughtful Mother brought her lunch (and another coffee), Danielle used my phone to do some texting.  Did I mention her cell phone battery died sometime during the class?  No escape from the unrelenting pain.  

Unfortunately, also for Danielle, her Mother (that would be me) decided to torture my best friend text Kelly who was at work and who can't respond to my texts.  Which was actually a high point I used to look forward to during my own day since I would try very hard to write things just to make her roll her eyes at me.  Yes, I know I am not actually there to see it... but the mental image is rather entertaining.  After yesterday, I have been banned from texting her at work.  Sigh.  I shall miss it until I can come up with a new idea.

When waking up my phone revealed that my daughter was not just texting... she was posting on her tumbler account.  I normally would have just shut it down and moved on to my morning endevor when the capitalized text caught my eye.  I had to laugh.  It's nice to know Danielle has strong, supportive girlfriends who can help her get through those tough times life has to offer.  So I asked if I could post the short communication here (protecting the not necessarily innocent, of course)
Friend:⁠ mon dani? is that you? art thou really there? don’t worry, i am getting on my noble steed (that may or may not be a plastic figurine) and am on my way!

Danielle: I am about to commit mass murder so you might want to hurry up with that. These children are demons. I’m gonna start throwing salt everywhere.

Friend: I’M STUCK IN STEED TRAFFIC! And you know how it is when you’re the only one with a noble steed and everyone is having a go at you…


Danielle: my hero! I await your arrival with baited breath!

Danielle: I’m going to keep the salt until I need to make my escape. I’m in the back of my classroom.

Friend: Oh if you’re at the back of the classroom then this would be a good time to deploy your zappy green lazer things! I implanted them in your brain for Christmas~

Friend: Be strong! You will survive! For tumblr and for Narnia!
I must go now... time for Danielle's day number three... (Still wondering when day number one is going to actually happen)

QOTD: "A day without sunshine... is night, actually." ~ Cheryl Caldwell from 'Follow Your Dreams (Except For That One Where You Go To Work Naked And Dance The Polka)'

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Should unnatural neural synapsis occur? Take one cherry chocolate Hershey Kiss and carry on.
Should NO neural synapsis occur? Take two full strength chocolate Hershey Kisses and
try again in the morning.