28 January 2011

Lessons Learned In Parental Survival School...

1) If you CAN'T hear your children when they are awake, find them quick because children are only quiet when they are doing something that will make your hair turn prematurely grey!

2) If you CAN hear your children, go break it up, hopefully before you have great need to provide transportation to the nearest hospital emergency room. (From either sibling or parental induced trauma)

3) Don't ever try to get anything done when the children are awake. This will always be the opportunity for trouble to find them.

4) Understand that a child can take apart anything you can build or accomplish in less time and with a lot less effort.

5) Always take advantage of good behavior... you'll never know if you will ever see it again or when the aliens will be swapping your child back. (You don't think they'd really want to keep them do you?)

6) Always hold back your own personal supply of water balloons and snow balls. They do come in handy.

7) After a child becomes a teenager, a padded room that locks from the INSIDE will become necessary for parental recuperation.

8) However many teenagers you have, that will be the exact number required to turn off a light.  One to actually perform the duty and the others to tell you, "But I didn't turn it on."

9) Once you have a daughter who arrives at the age of 12, it is imperative that you have an emergency supply of chocolate on hand at all times!

10) Hug all of your children good-morning and good-night.  When they no longer want a hug, you will know they have arrived at puberty.
QOTD: "Children are the most expensive form of entertainment." ~ Mihaela Iosof


  1. these are all hilarious because they are all true! I think this one was my favorite:

    "4) Understand that a child can take apart anything you can build or accomplish in less time and with a lot less effort."

  2. Personally, the one I find invoked the most is the number of offspring it takes to turn off a light bulb. Gah! (Still, I love them all... just wish I could love them with a little more cooperation...)


Contents from normal neural synapsis goes here....
Should unnatural neural synapsis occur? Take one cherry chocolate Hershey Kiss and carry on.
Should NO neural synapsis occur? Take two full strength chocolate Hershey Kisses and
try again in the morning.