26 January 2016

I'm Not the Easter Bunny Either


Early this morning...

Me to daughter, Erin: "I need you to get up. We need to be on time this morning because I have a dental appointment right after I drop you off at school."

Erin: *grumbling*

A few minutes later, she shows her face, looks at me and grumpily says, "You're not the doughnut fairy."

Me: *blink*

Me: "Um, I guess I could put a doughnut under your pillow."

Erin: "Eewww!"

A little later, on the way to school...

Erin: "I love you, but I'm putting in my ear buds and listening to Halsey."

Me: "Admiral Halsey?"

Erin: "Someone more amazing."

Me: "More amazing than me?"

Erin: "No. A different kind of amazine. You're a Mom kind of amazing."


QOTD: "Not only am I an amazing mother, I have amazing kids. Yes, you should be jealous." ~ me

24 January 2016

Want Ad

Today's news:

Missing: Odd sense of humor

Last seen: Somewhere south of normal and north of crazy

Contact: Lemon Stand. I really miss it and just want it to come home.

Reward: Good Karma

23 January 2016

The Reason I Think That Twitter Will Never Catch On To Main Stream America

Twitter is truly frustrating for those of us who love to use the most verbiage for our buck. 140 letters? What if I want to quote famous quotes such as this one from Terry Pratchett (proof that there is intelligence on earth):

"Most species do their own evolving, making it up as they go along, which is the way Nature intended. And this is all very natural and organic and in tune with mysterious cycles of the cosmos, which believes that there’s nothing like millions of years of really frustrating trial and error to give a species moral fiber and, in some cases, backbone."  Terry Pratchett (b.1948-) English Writer

I couldn't even post it thus because it is 140 letters too long:

 Loquacious people everywhere, beware the perils and affect of Twitter on the English language! (and don't even get me started on those little picture thingys)

QOTD: "Verbiage is for the verbose." ~ Andrew McMeel

17 January 2016

I'm Not the Only One Making Lemonade

I love lemons that make me laugh and as I was on twitter (@lemon_stand) tonight, I ran across two awesome lemon quotes:

   "When life gives you lemons, simply let them wash over you in a gentle, lemon-scented, yellow wave. Revel in your new wealth of lemons." ~ @jeffzentner

   "Horde your lemons in underground bunker. Watch the price of lemons skyrocket. Sell lemons at high prices and cackle." ~ @justinaireland

But one of my favorites came from a friend of mine long ago:
   Someone recently sent me a card that read...

            On the outside: Hang in there...sometimes life hands you lemons, but then you can make lemonade.
            On the inside: Of course, sometimes life pulls down your pants, runs a power sander across your naked butt, then pours lemon juice on your raw, abraded buttocks. In that case, a cool citrus drink wouldn't really help it, but darn it...you've got to hang in there anyway!

QOTD: "The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser in case you thought optimism was dead." ~ Robert Brault

14 January 2016

I Didn't Win the Lottery

Image result for lottery   The Powerball lottery was up to about 1.5 Billion US Dollars. I didn't win. This was not a surprise as I knew I'd have a much better chance of getting my kids to pick up after themselves, teach my cat to sing or decide I needed a tattoo on my posterior. I am also glad I am in good company as no one I know won it either. We can now all go out and commiserate together. It'll be fun.

QOTD: "Here's somthing to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?" ~ Jay Leno