15 July 2010

Sheep, Dating, Callings and Pillows...

Everyone in our family knows that I am literally going deaf.  It is especially hard to hear when we are in a restaurant with not only our whole gang in tow but all the other diners.  So sometimes what I think I have heard and what was actually said are completely different animals or I have missed almost the entire conversation.  For instance, take dinner last night wherein the seven of us went out...

As near as I can figure out, Nicole was talking to her father about some friend of her boyfriend and then while taking a sip of water I hear my husband (who is sitting right next to me) say:
"You really should let him know that they have discovered another really useful purpose for sheep.  I hear they can get wool from them."  
I nearly spit out my water.  Now, I'm thinking, did I really hear that correctly or is it just my husband being... well, himself?  I was afraid to ask but a few minutes later my curiosity got the better of me and I asked him if he could tell me what the conversation of sheep was all about.  When will I ever learn that ignorance is bliss?  The yuck, or maybe I should say the ewe factor was a little high.  He and our eldest daughter were talking about the dating habits of a few members of the crowd her boyfriend hangs out with.  NOT literally, fortunately.  Unfortunately, I did hear that sentence correctly and since I am determined to keep this blog in the family category, I will not repeat the rest of the conversation. 

Our daughter, Danielle, went to a Supernatural convention last weekend.  Supernatural, I guess is a television series?  (shows you how often I wield the remote control)  Again, I didn't hear the entire conversation except for this snippet:
Danielle, "One of the people there emphatically said that unless you have a true calling to the entertainment industry, don't ever get a job with any facet of it."
Nicole, "Well, that rules you out.  The only calling you have is from your pillow!  It calls you to bed and then hypnotically tells you 'that you can sleep a few more minutes and you still won't be late.'  A while later it croons 'that you'll only be a few minutes late.'  A while later it says, quite reasonably,  'that you are way too late so why not just go back to sleep?  Tomorrow is, after all, another day.'  You know, you should patent that.  Imagine a soft computerized voice in a box you can put under someone's pillow."
Yep, another normal meal with the Lemon Stand household.
QOTD:  “To enter Europe, you must have a valid passport with a photograph of yourself in which you look like you are being booked on charges of soliciting sheep.”  ~Dave Barry (b.1947) American Writer and Humorist


  1. That was really funny!

    I am constantly asking people to repeat themselves because usually what I THINK they said was NOT correct.

    *I should probably have my hearing checked soon.

  2. There are definitely times when I think everyone has those 'double take' moments. Always adds a little break from the tedium of a normal day. :o)

  3. Wish I had remembered to write down more of our conversations. The boys were funny.


Contents from normal neural synapsis goes here....
Should unnatural neural synapsis occur? Take one cherry chocolate Hershey Kiss and carry on.
Should NO neural synapsis occur? Take two full strength chocolate Hershey Kisses and
try again in the morning.