Even More Giving Is Supposed To Come From Here...

It all started with a book. At first glance, this book didn't appear to be all that different from any other ordinary book I own, but The Giving Book Club was created because of that original book, Random Acts of Kindness.  The only books chosen are books that give to the reader.  What the book gives would depend upon the reader. 

The name of The Giving Book Club came from one of the short vignettes in this small book, about a Russian Grandmother who told her Granddaughter that people in this country give from the wrong place and she goes on to explain exactly what she means in a way that will stay with you. I hope you'll take the time to read the short entry in the original blog post, Giving Is Supposed To Come From Here...

It's helped me focus on what I feel is truly important and now my copy is well worn.  I collect books to save me when I'm fresh out of anything positive to say or do. I know that sounds sappy, but I figure you should always try to enjoy and share happiness wherever you find it. Sappy, but true.

My books are food that feeds my soul, waters my determination and fertilizes my imagination. Any book that, for whatever reason, induces calm, patience, acceptance, laughter, imagination and reasoning, making you feel again centered and better able to cope with the demands of your life was made for this kind of shelf.


The eclectic selection on my shelf, reminds me to just forget about what I think I know about any given problem (because it's obvious that I don't know everything about the problem or it wouldn't be a problem, would it?). My shelf reminds me to remember that it's ok to take the time to step back outside the thinking box, review and then redirect how I'm reasoning and evaluating my problems. This book club was not meant to solve challenges that must be faced (so no automotive repair manual unless it's soothing). The book's purpose is to create a better mental and emotional place to deal with brick walls. 

Remind yourself often to not ever give up your dreams. They are only un-attainable if you stop trying and as long as there is life, there is hope. Have patience. Use whatever helps you focus your life and prioritize those things that are truly important to you and I've found that happiness just seems to follow. You've now given happiness a bread crumb trail and it will tag along as long as you want it to.

So, what's new on your shelf?

QOTD: "Reading...it's the best journey you can take without having to go anywhere." ~ Rumaas

A Monday Of Rocks, Pebbles, Sand And Coffee...

I haven't had much time to read all my favorite blogs in quite a while and so I did not see a post by Rave of The Last Cordwainer until this past weekend.  It was her first post of the new year with her salutations and philosophy of life.  (I love your salutation Rave and agree that I am NOT special and several 'years' have not attacked me at once and so I am almost a month behind and more than several dollars short, but I still wanted to wish you a Happy New Year too!)

Rave's post stuck in my mind all weekend, so this morning, to find a peace of mind (or maybe a piece of my mind that has gone missing), I went to research the story she shared about a Philosophy Teacher's class and whether it had ever been published anywhere as I'm always looking for books to add to my 'The Giving Book Club' collection. Apparently it's been around for a long time and there are many different versions that all say essentially the same thing.

I could not discover who was the original author. So I've tried to find the most complete version to post here for me to add to my collection as a great reminder of minding what is important.

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2 inches in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full?

They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

Most agreed it was. 

The students laughed. Some of them were getting to know his pattern. The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

Again he asked if the jar was full as he packed the sand down tightly.

Almost everyone agreed that it now must be full, after all, what else would fit, right?

It was then that the professor took his cup of coffee and slowly poured it into the sand, where it was absorbed and went in between the sand, the pebbles and the rocks.

“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, your partner, your health, your children – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else, the small stuff.

If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

The Coffee though, that represents everything that is none of your business!

So often our lives are filled with the things that do not even belong to us, do not even concern us. If I filled this jar with coffee, what would happen with the first rock, the first pebble or even the first teaspoon of sand? The coffee would spill out and you would be left in a puddle of someone else’s business.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.

Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.” 

Leave the coffee for someone else!

The Giving Tree...

It's hard to believe that the 35th Anniversary Edition of this wonderful book is now being sold.  As an entry for The Giving Book Club, The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein is a must.  Some might disagree since it is rather poignant, but it's lessons are worth learning.

If you've never 'read' it (especially to a child) it starts out with, "Once there was a tree...and she loved a little boy." Shel Silverstein children's picture book tells the story of a loving tree who gave and gave and gave, and a boy who grew to want more and more and more.

It's a book worth adding to your Lemonade Shelf bookcase.

The Giving Book Club's Current Book...

I haven't posted any of my books from The Giving Book Club in quite a while.  Since I haven't done so and if you are wondering what these few posts have been about (I had only started them before back surgery) then you may want to read the short post that explains this club and it's first book at Giving Is Supposed To Come From Here... This is the perfect 'pick me up' for a Monday because it's a scientific fact that laughter makes you feel better... Warning: Just be careful not to read it at work... or while drinking your morning orange juice.  The juice really stings the inside of your nose.  :)

Just in case you can't read the small print it says: Follow Your Dreams (Except for that one where you go to work naked and dance the Polka) by Cheryl Caldwell.

QOTD: Discover your true self, whoever that may be. "Hello, My Name Is High Maintenance." ~ Cheryl Caldwell

When In Need Of A Few Words Of Support...

The Giving Book Club.  The only books chosen are books that give to the reader.  Exactly what kind of positive thought, healing words, or humor the book gives, depends upon the reader. 

I think our whole family needed just a few words to remind us, that life happens and it will be OK.  We have some important decisions to make today.  We will work with the information we have and rely on doing our absolute best.  For a little extra strength, I pulled out a book off my Giving Book Shelf and sifted through the pages until I felt more calm.  Motivated.  Able to face what's to come.  This book is laid out by days of the year.  Each page is short but eloquently points out a different way to look at life.  Along with the date, this book has subjects listed at the top of each page, so if you need specific inspiration, simply flipping through the book until you arrive at your support-du-jour is easy.  This book is called, The Daily Book of Positive Quotations by Linda Picone.

Getting Through

"The best way out is always through." ~ Robert Frost

There's no easy way to get out of a difficult period, as much as we may want to find one.  We just have to go through it.  Rationally, we may know that our pain will lessen over time, but that is little solace at first.

Still, we survive.  And we survive by living through our pain - day by day, week by week, month by month.  And then, suddenly one day, we're on the other side, looking back, thinking, "That was a rough period, wasn't it? But I made it."

Resilience 

"It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get back up." ~ Vince Lombardi

Watch a baby learning to walk.  When she first goes from crawling to walking, she's down more than she's up.  There may be a few tears, but she quickly bounces back up, ready to try again.  The urge to walk, to explore the world in a new way, keeps her going.  Wouldn't it be great if we could maintain this same kind of spirit?  A baby doesn't think, "Gee, I fell.  Now I'll never learn to walk."  As adults, we sometimes let our failures discourage us.  If something goes wrong one time, we think it will always go wrong.  We don't get up to take the next step.

Strength In Adversity

"Adversity draws men together and produces beauty and harmony in life's relationships, just as the cold of winter produces ice-flowers on the windowpanes, which vanish with the warmth." ~ Soren Kierkegaard

We see it after every major disaster: People opening their hearts, their homes, and their wallets to help others.  On a smaller, more personal scale, friends help each other in times of adversity - and even strangers rise to acts of heroism when the situation demands it.  We all have within us the desire and ability to help others.  It's too bad that we forget this until adversity strikes.  

After writing this post, I've been reminded that our family somehow manages to laugh at just about everything.  If we can survive earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, being robbed, floods, losing everything we own in a natural disasters... twice, losing family members and friends... then we will survive life at large today. 

I hope everyone has a great day!

Other books in the Giving Book Club:

Giving Is Supposed To Come From Here

It's Not Easy Being Green

Life's Little Instruction Book

Did You Ever Wish Life Came With An Instruction Manual? Got One Right Here...

Back in 1992, I bought a book called Life's Little Instruction Book, by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.  Eventually, I bought the hardcover version (shown here) which combined his first three books.  If you have read any other books of The Giving Book Club you've probably noticed a trend.  Most of my collection of books like this, are not written in chapters like you'd find in most non-fiction books.  They are bits and pieces that don't require more than a couple of minutes to read... or seconds for that matter in some of them.  The great thing is... I don't need more than a glance some days, because, like this book is arranged, reading a couple of lines really just acts like a thought provoker.  It puts some important bit of wisdom in my brain so that I can turn it over and over throughout the day.  

I don't have time for more than that most days and back when I first found this book, I REALLY didn't have time.  I can't remember anymore, just where I was when I picked this book up for the first time.  I DO remember that I was pretty much at the end of my rope, wishing that my life had come with an instruction manual.  The experiences we'd had for about an eighteen month period prior to this time were...  'eventful'.  From my first glance, at the first page, I was hooked.  Below is Mr. Brown's description of WHY he wrote these books (from the publisher section on  Barnes & Noble's web site):

H. Jackson Brown, Jr. originally wrote Life's Little Instruction Book™ as a gift for his son who was leaving home to begin his freshman year in college. Brown says, "I read years ago that it was not the responsibility of parents to pave the road for their children but to provide a road map, and I wanted to provide him with what I had learned about living a happy and rewarding life."

"But it's not just for young people," says Brown. "Most of us already know how to live a successful and purposeful life. We know we should be more understanding and thoughtful, more responsible, courageous and appreciative. It's just that we sometimes need reminding." 

• Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen every day.
• Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
• Think big thoughts, but relish small pleasures.
• Learn to listen. Opportunity sometimes knocks softly.
• Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have.
• Be kinder than necessary.
• Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
• Commit yourself to constant self-improvement.
• Don't major in minor things.
• Never cut what can be untied.

I read somewhere that Mr. Brown's son, Adam, had written back to his father to tell him it was the best gift he'd ever gotten and that he would add to it and pass it on to his children.  

This book help tie a knot in that rope I was at the end of and allowed me to hold on.  One of these days I really should do a post... or three... about that time period.  Til then, here's the Reader's Digest Version:

• Pregnancy after three years infertility
• First Gulf War breaks out
• Permanent Change of Station (AKA PCS) and a move half-way around the world to Guam from southern Florida... a military move instruction manual would have been amazing...
• Pre-term labor and a placenta that had started to tear... I didn't even think of an instruction manual... I just wanted Mom...
• Evacuated to closest Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit in the Philippines.  9 days before...
• Mt Pinatubo Volcano erupts requiring evacuation... I really could have used an instruction manual around this time...
• Evacuated to closest Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit in Japan... no instruction manual... just an air sickness bag...
• Minor earthquake... still no desperately needed instruction manual to be found...
• Almost four weeks to due date... fetal lung maturity tested and found OK
• Evacuated back to Guam
• Five days hard labor.  Water broken and seventeen minutes later we have a baby girl named Nicole
• Nicole broke collarbone in delivery. I broke tailbone in delivery.  Born three weeks early
• First child... still haven't found an instruction manual on life...  now in desperate need of an owner's manual too...
• Six months later... uh oh, oops... instruction manual not needed, had this subject covered in High School health class... guess I must have missed that lecture...
• Problems with pregnancy... hospitalized for about four and a half months... again, I didn't want an instruction manual... I wanted Mom...
• Nicole's first steps and a lot of other firsts happen without me... still waiting on those instruction manuals (life and owner)...
• Evacuated to closest Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit in Hawaii
• Mother in Law flies to Guam, picks up our daughter and brings her to Hawaii and stays... A Mother with an instruction (and owner manuals from older models) memorized...
• Super Typhoon Omar destroys our home on Anderson AFB... tissues supplied... instruction manual not needed... 
• Mom flies home... detailed instructions given prior to leaving...
• Category four Hurricane Iniki hits Hawaii, passing directly of Kaua'i.  The most powerful hurricane in Hawaiian recorded history, devastates Hawaii... a survival manual instead, might have come in handy at this point...
• Danielle is born three and a half weeks early.  Has severe jaundice and stays hospitalized
• A couple of days later, I tripped in hospital parking lot.  Broken left big toe, torn ligament in left ankle, torn ligament in right knee... did not follow Mom's detailed instructions to the letter...  already know what instruction manual said and really didn't need an 'I told you so'...
• Return to Guam.  Not much to salvage.  Not much to pack.  Not much need for instructions on what comes next...
• Instead of accepting an unaccompanied short tour for a year, I separated from the military
• Fly most of the way without my husband from Guam to Maine with 15 month old, 6 week old, left ankle in cast, right leg in brace from hip to ankle... (Have I mentioned how much I LOVE my cousin Denyse?  She has a really big S on her undershirt!  She's my hero.  She flew to San Francisco to help me, and then we flew home together.)
• Land, head straight to emergency room with two children running raging fevers from ear infections... Mother with instruction (and owner) manual memorized... was on site...
• Three months later, husband separates from active duty and returns home to Maine... Serious need for an encyclopedia of Life's Instructions...

It's Not Easy Being Green...

Another installment of The Giving Book Club as described in the post "Giving Is Supposed To Come From Here..."  Luckily, I have collected enough Lemonade shelf books to continue for a very, very long time.  

I have a few wonderful and really special memories of my father.  One was that he loved The Muppet Show just as much as the rest of our family.  I remember his favorite characters were the two grumpy old men in the balcony and the Swedish Chef.  For me?  My absolute favorite character was Kermit the frog.  Growing up I never really thought much about WHY he was my favorite.  He just was.

Years ago, I was feeling pretty low and somehow found myself in a book store where someone had left a single copy of this book on a chair near the coffee table book section.  I remember it was still winter and I had thought that if I could find a book that had pictures of somewhere warm, somewhere I wanted to travel to, some beautiful nature pictures, spring and sunshine wouldn't seem so far away.   Kermit was on the cover, so it caught my eye.  I picked it up to just thumb through it and some time later, I suddenly realized I had finished the book.  I had unknowingly sat down on that chair to continue reading it.   Needless to say, I adopted the book (after duly paying for it), and took it home with me.  I knew it needed a home, and I needed it's wisdom.  A perfect fit as far as I was concerned.

"It's Not Easy Being Green" was really my introduction to Kermit's creator, Jim Henson.  Like The Muppet Show, this was not just a child's book, nor was it just an adult's book.  It's a book for those willing to look at life through the eyes of a child and realize that what the child was seeing clearly, was the true reality of life without the cataracts that blur our sight as we age.

This book always GIVES me something different, every time I pick it up.  Being a military family has it's own unique challenges and so the title of this book often seems ironic (in a good way) to me.   For me, the one thing this book gives me is always the same.  HOPE.  It gives me hope even when I think I'll never feel hope again.   It says to me:  "You are NOT drowning, you are eight years old again, lying on your back, relaxing and letting your body drift to the top of the water and just floating.  Just enjoying the view of the picture book stories to be found in a starry sky or deciding the species of cloud animals passing by.  You have the energy, experience and skill to swim to shore, but first, take a few minutes to really look around you and then take that mental picture with you to show someone else how it is done."

I have given this book to friends who are struggling with something in their lives.  I have given it to graduating relations.  There is something about the hope and innocence in all the little vignettes that make up "It's Not Easy Being Green" (ISBN 9781401302429) that just makes sense to me.  Again, like the book, "Random Acts of Kindness", this book is not big in size.  But both books are of few words and both are big on hope and heart. 

QOTD: "I've got a dream, too, but it's about singing and dancing and making people happy. That's the kind of dream that gets better the more people you share it with. And, well, I've found a whole bunch of friends who have the same dream. And it kind of makes us like a family." ~ Kermit the frog from The Muppet Movie

Giving Is Supposed To Be From Here...

I've decided to start a book club.  This book club is going to be called The Giving Book Club.  The only books chosen and discussed will be books that give to the reader.  What the book gives would depend upon the reader. 

I was thumbing through one of my books because it was a tough day for me today.  It wasn't anything bad in particular.  Just one of those kind of days.  I have a headache.  I'm frustrated with the kids.  I'm upset with a billing office.  An ordinary day.  Like I said, just one of those kind of days.  It occurred to me that there had to be an amazing amount of people who had the same exact day I have just had.  So I chose, at random, one of my Lemonade shelf books.  Then I chose, at random, a page to share.

When I was quite small my immigrant Russian grandmother told me that people in this country give from the wrong place.  "When you give from here," she declared, pointing to her solar plexus, "it's like keeping a ledger book.  That's not giving, that's trading.  I give you three so you give me three.  I sweep the floor so you carry the bundles."

She pushed the wisps of white hair out of her eyes with the backs of her red hands, shaking her head back and forth, tsk-ing her tongue against her teeth.  "You give your soul away when you give like that.  Giving is supposed to be from here," she said, pointing to the center of her chest with a feathery finger.  "When you give from your heart, it's not so you get anything back.  There is no owing or owed.  You just give because you want to give.  When you give like this, it fills you up.  Your heart can never run out.  The more you give from there, the fuller you will be...  When you give like this, there are no strangers." ~ Dawna Markova from the book Random Acts of Kindness, An Illustrated Celebration ISBN 97814355125513 (On the inside cover, after the description of the book, it says, "from the book")

I immediately thought of someone in particular, who I know will LAUGH when she reads this post.  For everyone else?  I hope it puts a smile on your puss, like it did on mine.

I recommend this book highly.  It's not very large in size, but it's gargantuan in heart.  I bought it recently in Barnes and Nobles book store.  If you have read this book, I would love to read your opinion in the comments.  Who wants to choose the next book?  Just give it a tag of The Giving Book Club and I'll be sure to Google it.  I'm always looking for additions to buy for my Lemonade shelf.

QOTD: "Imagine what a world this would be if everyone did one kind thing every day." ~ "from the [same] book"