20 December 2009

Mr. Alarm Clock's Obituary...

 A few years ago while my husband was deployed to the sandbox I had to post the following obituary... I was reminded of it when I read Cherish It Hard's post on the Death Of The Alarm Clock. 
She also posted an update to the situation which also reminded me of an update for the following post that I wrote back in 2006.  I will see if I can dig it up because it was on my old blog.  Until then...
Mr. Alarm Clock (1998-2006) New England - Alarm Clock of the Lemon Stand household died Thursday morning, October 26, 2006 after a sudden traumatic incident involving the accidental awakening of the mistress of Lemon Stand. Mr. Clock died of massive internal injuries. He was 8 years old.

Mr. Clock was adopted in 1998 and was a permanent member of the bedside nightstand of the owners of the Lemon Stand Household, where he served admirably for many years in the master bedroom. His service included performing the duties of time keeper and wake up calls no matter what shift the owners worked.

Later in life, he remained a faithful companion of the Master of the Lemon Stand household and was so distraught upon the recent deployment to Iraq of said Master that he became inconsolable. He would alarm the household at inappropriate times and on occasion would break out into song without prompting.

In the early morning hours of Thursday, before the sun had come up, Mr. Clock startled the mistress who promptly defended her sanity by propelling Mr. Alarm Clock into a wall at a high rate of speed. Mr. Clock died on impact caused by the sudden stop. No charges have been filed as it was an act of self defense.

Mr. Clock will be buried with full military honors at the town transfer station (garbage dump) on Saturday. In lieu of flowers, Memorial Contributions may be made to Soldiers Angels. Mr. Clock would have been pleased to know that his demise was able to touch another service member.
(Originally posted 26 Oct 2006)


  1. That is hilarious! You have a gift, that's for sure.
    Funnily enough, my alarm clock is misbehaving at the moment - namely gaining time at the rate of about 40 minutes a day. At first I put it down to age-induced Alzheimers, but now I wonder if it has deployment stress disorder.

  2. I absolutely LOVE that you gave your alarm clock an obituary! F.U.N.N.Y.
    I am sorry the old clock died so traumatically = )

    R.I.P Mr. Alarm Clock.


  3. Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

  4. I think I remember reading about this when you originally posted it. Absolutely hilarious!

  5. OMG! That is one of the funniest things I have ever read! Aahahahahahahahhahahahaha


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