This morning at the breakfast table...
Me, "Nicole, I just found out about a better way to get rid of the planters warts on the bottom of your foot."
Nicole has been going for almost 2 and a half years to the doctor to get the 'acid' treatment.
Me, "After your shower, you dry your foot very well and then use any nail polish that is not clear (so you can tell where it is), completely cover the wart and then put a non-porous tape like black electrical tape on the top after the polish completely dries. Do this every day for 1-2 weeks and then one day when you pull the tape off, the wart comes with it. The wart is a fungus and it requires air. Keep the air from it and it dies."
Nicole, "Mom, you already told me this last night."
Me, "I did?"
Nicole, "Yes, you were sitting in the living room with me."
I looked at my husband and asked him, "What is wrong with me? I don't remember saying that?"
Husband, "Don't worry honey. It's actually a good thing. Just think... you could hide your own Easter Eggs!"
Nicole, "You could even buy and wrap your own presents and then they'd still be a surprise!"
To be truthful, yesterday was a pretty stressful day, so by last night I was wiped. But I still live with a bunch of troglodytes! (Yes, Nicole, I know you will have to go look up troglodyte even though I told you just this morning what it meant.... It's great to prove the brain is still functioning even with my family members baiting me all the time!) :O)
QOTD: Normally I don't quote from a web page but this was too good to pass up. (And just so we are clear on this... I NEVER blog in the basement! :)
To bloviate means “To discourse at length in a pompous or boastful manner,” or to “orate verbosely and windily.”And a troglodyte is, among other things, “One of any savage race that dwells in caves, instead of constructing dwellings; a cave dweller.”Now, a basement isn’t exactly a cave, but it’s pretty close. So: a “bloviating troglodyte” is somebody who lives in a basement, talks too damn much, and thinks too highly of the things he/she says.In other words, a blogger.
UPDATE: I completely forgot to back link to Troglodyte's Blog. Although I am not one who reads a lot of political blogs and such, he does have some very witty posts so please go over and check him out. Thank You!
Is your memory going to? I think my memory loss is from when I use to hang out with too many Rastas back in the day.
ReplyDeleteMay
So, here is where your husband starts his evil ( but brilliant ) plan. He begins by bringing home orange juice from work and tell you he got it just like you asked.
ReplyDeleteA few days later he asks if you still wanted to go to that movie you mentioned the other night.
He keeps this up for about 6-8 months, then brings home the sports car that you said he should get. Surely you remember that?
You told him he worked hard and deserved it.
P.S. You may want to hide this comment from him ,so as not to give him any ideas.
May - Part of it is trying to keep 7 different schedules, responsibilities and needs up to date. The rest I think is the kids just driving me nuts. (Or it could be all those Alabama Slammers and Peach Snaps shots in my much younger [and stupider] age! Although I must say, that there are times I wish I could go back just to get a little peace and quiet. Unfortunately I know that after the quiet comes the paying homage to the porcelain God so I just pull up my big girl bloomers and get on with life.
ReplyDeleteKlaatu - I.Am.NEVER.Introducing.You.To.My.Husband!!! (His dream car is an MGB in forest green!) I drive a 20 year old mini van. (I hope you know that 'combobulatedness' is STILL not a word!!!! :OP