06 July 2010

The Gentle Or Gentile Bear Community...

There are times in my life where I can not find my lighter side on my own.  I am blessed, however, with an entire family who have inherited my husband's sense of humor.  Not too long ago we were sitting at the kitchen table having a mini family meeting.  There were things that bugged my husband and I and things that bugged the kids and occasionally we have managed to actually sit down together and talk about them and to see if any compromises were possible that would make everyone happier.

Most of the things were pretty minor but those things that got on a particular family member's nerves, we tried to discuss.  Nina requested that our dishwasher not be run at night or early in the morning because it continuously 'beeps' rather loudly when it is finished a load and the sound wakes her up.  That seemed pretty reasonable.  I also agreed not to run the vacuum before 10am during the summer months.  So then we get to Rachel's request.

My husband built Rachel a very beautiful bedroom in our basement so that she could have her own room.  It turns out, however, to have one slight, unforeseen flaw.  The sewer pipe runs just behind one of her bedroom walls.  If anyone gets up in the middle of the night or early morning to use the loo and then flushes a toilet in either of the bathrooms, it wakes  her up.  Apparently this auditory event is distinctive and loud.

Keep in mind that my husband gets up about 4:30am to be able to get to the base on time.  So we were trying to brainstorm some ideas to avert waking her up at least until my husband could get into the wall and insulate the pipes for sound.  (It's too bad I wouldn't have been able to convince Rachel that they really sound like bagpipes.  After all, one persons music is another persons....)
Husband, "As soon as it slows down at work I will research how to insulate those pipes but in the meanwhile I guess we could just not flush the toilet after Rachel goes to bed till about eight in the morning.  Not a perfect solution but it should suffice in the interim."

Me, "I'm not sure I agree with that.  I can easily anticipate the bathrooms odoriferous environment becoming a laboratory for testing the effects of gas weapons on the human olfactory senses pretty fast.  There are six of us living here right now and with as much time as this family spends in the bathroom, we could end up with backlog of brown submarines that could make their drain diving schedule somewhat crowded or even mission impossible and that is one kind of deck duty that I would seriously prefer to avoid."

My husband nonchalantly says, "Well, I can see this will be easier for me than it will be for you ladies since I can commune with mother nature."

Horrified, I said, "In our yard?"
It took me a minute to realize my husband was yanking my chain, but then I said dryly, "What? One conversation with our neighborhood bear is not enough for you?"
With a serious demeanor, Rachel said, "Oh, don't worry Mom.  Dad will be just marking his territory so the bear knows his boundaries and will be scared off."  (My husband can always count on Rachel to play his 'straight man'.)
 A little while later, the girls were talking about walking to their cousins' house which is just over 7 miles by car.  Nina looked like she wasn't convinced that this was a great idea.  After all, there is all the wildlife to consider...
Rachel trying to gently coax her into going says, "I'm sure we have only gentile bears around here."  (I believe she was trying to draw out the word gentle but it ended up sounding like gen-tile)

Her father, never one to let this kind of opportunity go to waste said to Rachel, "'Gentile' means non-Jewish while 'gentle' means kindly and docile.  So according to you, either we have a local population of non-Jewish bears or they are all kind and cuddly."
QOTD:  "Some people grin and bear it; others smile and do it." ~ Anonymous


  1. Lemon Stand, I can tell you from experience that it will be a waste of time for your wonderful husband to try to stop the sound of the flusher flushing through the basement wall. Not gonna' happen. Fool's errand.

    A couple of suggestions.

    Daughter needs to use some of those spongy ear plugs that you use at the firing range if she is really that light a sleeper.

    Or, be presented with the option of giving up her own room if it's just too difficult to deal with. (In my experience, that usually shuts down the complaints immediately).

    As to the "To flush, or not to flush?" deal. Cardinal rule..."If it's brown, flush it down. If it's yellow, let it mellow."

    And, oh yeah...just for reference, we raised four sons...only one girl had to put up with all the man junk around this joint.

  2. We follow Andy's rule... the water well pump is next to my eldest son's window... brown, down... otherwise wait till later. Though later in our house is 6am. Ugh.

  3. loved the "Gentile Bears". Great Story...

  4. Can she move her bed to another wall? Or is the sound just that loud?

    Maybe she could get a 'white noise' machine or a small fountain, so the sudden noise wouldn't 'jump out' at her in the middle of the night.

  5. Andy and VW Bug - Personally, I hate going into a bathroom where a toilet needs to be flushed. I vote for the ear plugs

    Ken - Thank you.

    Christie - That is one story I had to write about. All of the kids have made word choice mistakes and most of them are memorable. I probably should have added some of the others.

    Mrs. Who - Bed is on that wall and yes, she can move it if she chooses but the white noise is a great idea because it still is pretty loud.


Contents from normal neural synapsis goes here....
Should unnatural neural synapsis occur? Take one cherry chocolate Hershey Kiss and carry on.
Should NO neural synapsis occur? Take two full strength chocolate Hershey Kisses and
try again in the morning.