The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
I didn’t say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they sure do have some good ideas!
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
The Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.