TELEGRAM FROM LEMON STAND:

Doing fine STOP Will be back soon STOP At the moment I sound like a duck being strangled STOP Rather slowly and with great malicious delight STOP Am one step away from the "shoot me now" stage of bad head cold STOP Courtesy of youngest of mongrel hoard STOP and two herniated disks in my lower back STOP courtesy of eldest of mongrel hoard STOP' I'm not dead STOP yet STOP but it IS time to go take some more 'good night Gracie' and grab another 587 pristine crisp white linen handkerchiefs from my dresser drawer STOP each embroidered in the corner STOP with bright red thread, mind you STOP with the letters P. M. S. STOP I kid you not STOP at least about the initials anyway STOP  Just ask Ruthie STOP There are six ladies (and I DO use that term rather loosely because IF cleanliness of boudoir were included within this description, well, let's just say they should be darned thankful I am too sick to reach for my thesaurus) living in this house now and there is not a microscopic-sized amount of chocolate anywhere on the entire property STOP  Unless you are a delivery service person of the aforementioned necessity STOP and actually HAVE the aforementioned necessity STOP  then  STOP  for your own personal safety  STOP  I would not suggest you physically cross our property line without a significant chocolate sacrifice arriving well before visitation  STOP  at least until hostilities have ceased OUT.