18 November 2010

Posts, Email, Texts And Twits...

My communication skills may sometime seem a little bizarre... at least from another person's perspective.  Looking at life differently, is therapy for me.  I try to go out of my way to look at things differently.  Why?  Because I was born a pessimist within a body that wants to be an optimist.  So I sorely try the patience of my family and friends.  Let me give you a few examples of this twisted bent in my thought processes...

My best friend Kelly, works part-time so there are times when I can not speak to her on the phone.  Since my kids have taught me how to text, I have been perfecting the art of this communication form by texting her at odd hours just to make her roll her eyes.  It's true.  I actually have a visual picture of this in my mind and it makes me laugh.  So I love to torment her with stray  texts, such as:
"Hello. Have you ever wondered why our American form of greeting rhymes with 'jello'?  Or perhaps that it starts with the word, 'Hell'.  Which, when you think about it, makes us all sound like we are jiggly or pessimistic..."
"Apparently I have been missing.  Just wanted to let you know that I have found myself. (Besides, I can't just say good night as that would be considered normal)"
I write posts like, "Conversational Ponderings..." and "Survival In The Wilderness Of The Internet..."

Sometimes, I even email friends with unsolicited advice like...
Are you ok? Just checking 'cause that last email had a microscopic bit of whining to it... I know being a military spouse is pretty difficult sometimes.  Especially when you can't always have him to yourself when he just gets home after a deployment because of kids and the in-laws from hell,  but I think if you do a little planning ahead of time, you both could come to LOVE the  parental visitations.  No, Really!  The next time your husband has to travel to go visit his family... all the way across the continent?  Find yourself a sitter, go with him and DON'T tell his parents you are even staying at the hotel with him.  During the day you can shop at Hot Topic and Victoria Secret while your husband has a great reason to look forward to going back to the room... no matter HOW his visit goes...
Lemon Stand

PS And just in case you've never heard this small bit of wisdom... A coat closet is kind of like that second parachute that jumpers have.  Use it ONLY in dire emergencies, but if that's all you got? Improvise, Adapt, Overcome.  :)
And now I am trying to learn how to Twit... conversations in 140 characters or less... We shall see, but I think I am up to the challenge...


  1. You keep me sane. I kid you not, I sent this out to my cub scout den: "Would have sent this note yesterday but was feeling the motherly guilt and played all day with Billy. Though I must say Mario Cart is better than Plant vs Zombies. Ugh. For those not there, Billy fell and scraped his knee... I was not sympathetic. Why? Because I had told him not to do it and he had been defiant all morning and it was that item that made me really annoyed. Sigh. So I over compensate later. Geeze. Parenthood is hard. Ok, now that you have finished laughing" Then I come read your posts and realize that life happens and I just need to try try again.

  2. It's so funny you should post this particular comment and that I should read it as I am contemplating homicide by chaining a certain family member outside to a post, applying a prodigious amount of honey and then using a bear call to tell him his lunch is ready. Gah!

    Your right. Life happens but there are times when you wish life was happening to someone else, so believe me, I share your pain. The irony of life sometimes feels like your guardian angel has PMS today.... I really need to go back to bed and start this day over... a couple of days from today :o)

  3. You and me both. Oh well.. Thanksgiving is here and I just figured out how to hide two already put together bikes. You should have heard the 'oh sh.t' when they told me how happy the kids would be getting the bikes today. It hit me at that moment I had to hide them. Ugh. So even though the stress is over and I did it BEFORE they got home from school with 15 minutes to spare... I'm eating choc chip cookies. Sigh.


Contents from normal neural synapsis goes here....
Should unnatural neural synapsis occur? Take one cherry chocolate Hershey Kiss and carry on.
Should NO neural synapsis occur? Take two full strength chocolate Hershey Kisses and
try again in the morning.